


Resolve, Revitalize, Rise

by Aria_Cinabun



Series: RRR Trilogy [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avarial, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Character Death In Dream, Deaf Character, Epic Battles, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Hearing aids, Hurt No Comfort, Immortality, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury Recovery, Kidnapping, LMAO, Mama Puffy to the rescue, Mercy Killing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Panic Attacks, Parent Cara | CaptainPuffy, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Cara | CaptainPuffy, Protective Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Toby Smith | Tubbo, Stabbing, Swordfighting, The Guardians™, Tommy isn't going to get a break, Wingfic, dealing with disabilities, fuck the Fallen honestly, here we go again, im not good at writing fluff don't expect too much of it, mute character, mysterious city of the phoenixes ahaha, no just torture, or not hahaha, phoenix au, ready your tissue boxes, there are only three chapters but each of them have more than 10k words, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28968132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Cinabun/pseuds/Aria_Cinabun
Summary: A boy once spoke a tale of golden words and fluttered phrases. That tale passed through the mouths of others, who spoke of his heroism and his love with a faraway look in their eyes.His enemies found the story. Saw the love the people had for this boy - remembered who he had been to them, what he had done. Remembered how he had once knelt before them and begged for freedom. They vowed to take him down.And with those actions, the boy fell once more.Only this time - this time, they made sure he would never rise again.(Sequel to Reborn, Relive, Repeat)
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit & Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Tommyinnit & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch
Series: RRR Trilogy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2124765
Comments: 224
Kudos: 654
Collections: BEST MCYT FICS IN EXISTENCE, Found family to make me feel something





	1. Resolve

"This isn't going to work," Tommy scoffed, crouched atop one of the niches in the hallway.

"It is," Skeppy assured him, his bright wings flared slightly as he tried to balance himself on the narrow area. Tommy scoffed again, glancing up and down the hallway. It was summer again, and two of the windows lining the corridor were open so that the air in the castle could circulate its air and wouldn't become stuffy like Tommy's bedroom had become at night. 

He couldn't believe it had been that long - nearly eight months. Eight months of peace. Eight months of true freedom. Eight months of flying, of sitting down at night and eating dinner with the other phoenixes - with his family, with Tubbo's family - sometimes it was too much.

Sometimes he awoke with a cold sweat, afraid that all the good had been a dream - afraid that he had failed, that Finn and Skeppy and Bad and Harvey and all the other phoenixes were dead...but when he would stumble to Wilbur's bedroom, which was closest, his older brother was always there to offer a hand - or a wing, sometimes, and assure him that this was real.

And that everything would be alright.

Tommy let out a small cough as Skeppy elbowed him in the chest, the two pranksters peering off the corner of the niche they stood in to look down.

Wilbur and Techno were walking down the hall, their wings tucked neatly into their back. Tommy had never been able to master that perfection - he always moved too fast, he was always too wary, but that was okay because he was getting better. Wilbur's wings, white and yellow, had not a feather out of place, and his brother in question looked deep in discussion with Techno, the circlet on his head slightly askew as he gestured frugally with the hand that didn't have a blood-red book in it.

His pink-haired brother looked slightly calmer, though not by much. His hands were clasped behind his back, his posture ramrod straight, but Tommy saw the lines of annoyance on his forehead as Wilbur argued with him - probably over something stupid, too. Techno had less physical control over his hawk-like wings - he was a warrior, like Skeppy, and often they were fluffed up and ready to fly at any given second.

"They're gonna fall for it," Skeppy whispered eagerly. Tommy frowned. Techno usually saw everything, but he was arguing with Wilbur, so...

Wilbur tripped over the tripwire, cursing as his book went flying, landing spine-up on the carpeted hallway, and Techno drew his sword - which didn't do much about the two gallons of green slime that were upended over both of their heads.

Tommy cackled loudly, and Skeppy let out a loud whoop of enthusiasm as they glided to the floor, Tommy doing it far more elegantly than Skeppy, who just dropped into a crouch.

"Really, Tommy?" Techno said, somehow seeming sophisticated despite the green goo that was dripping off his wings as he flapped them a couple of times to expel the slime. 

"Got you!" Tommy crowed.

Wilbur got to his feet, using his elbow to wipe his face off angrily. "TOMMY!" he snarled.

Tommy's grin faded for half a second at the shout, before he saw the not-really-mad look on Wilbur's face, and then his smirk snapped back into place as if it had never been gone. Techno raised an apprehensive eyebrow at the motion, but Wilbur didn't seem to notice as he leaped at Tommy.

He dodged, jumping onto the sill of the open window nearby, peering out. They were high up - about ten stories or so.

"Don't you dare," Wilbur said, narrowing his eyes as he raised his wings for flight. Techno sighed and followed his brother's lead, and Skeppy joined Tommy on the windowsill.

Tommy laughed, saluted Wilbur, and then pushed himself back into a freefall. He took a deep breath as the heat of the sun hit him - it didn't bother him, he was a phoenix - and Skeppy laughed with glee as Tommy snapped open his wings inches before he hit the garden ground below, dodging past Spifey and Harvey, who looked to be painting each other's nails. 

"What the hell, Skeppy!" Spifey yelled.

"Talk to you later!" Skeppy yelled, following closely behind Tommy as they gained height from the swoop. "Busy!"

He didn't hear Harvey's response as they crossed the castle garden walls, and Tommy looked down at the bustling city, remembering with a small smile when he had come home after eight years. He still remembered smashing the window - it had been repaired, but the stained glass had been changed to a battle scene of a fire, and if Tommy looked close enough, he could see himself, wings on fire, standing in front of Tubbo as the windows in the hall shattered from the forces of the other phoenixes.

Sometimes he was embarrassed by the mess he'd caused - and other times he'd sit up, looking at it when the moon shone through the colored glass and think about what had happened. 

The ash from the Fallen's bodies - like phoenixes, except not because they weren't phoenixes - and the glass and the chaos and the death that came from it - had it been worth it?

Yes, he'd decided, one lonely night two days before his seventeenth birthday. When he looked at Tubbo and his best friend, and soulmate, looked at him and smiled, he realized that it was worth it. When spring came around and Astelic wept when she saw the flowers bloom - he had done that, he had gotten them past their fear of the Fallen and taken them aboveground - when Spifey flew high in the sky with a tranquil look on his face as he breathed in the fresh air. When Bad and Skeppy fooled around in the kitchens trying to bake muffins until everyone's stomach's hurt - though from the muffins or the laughter nobody was ever really sure - and Tommy popped in and saw the two soulmates giggling and messing around he always got that small smile on his face that was always mirrored by the other phoenixes who had known the two for far longer than he had. Sometimes he talked to Zelk and Vurb about it, and they'd always mention with a faraway look that no matter how happy Bad and Skeppy had seemed, they were infinitely better aboveground, despite the common complaints of how cold it was.

In fact, it was so cold that during the winter Tommy had taken to making his wings slightly excrete warmth through a technique taught to them by Finn, who had gathered the phoenix books from the volcano in two separate trips. Sometimes Finn caught Techno stealing them - light reading and all that shit - and would roll his eyes, but while Tommy thought they were incredibly boring, the whole make-wings-smolder-equals-heat thing worked wonders. Especially when it was snowing and Tommy could get Tubbo to curl up next to him - he wasn't clingy, fuck whatever everyone said - because Tubbo had never really mastered his phoenix magic despite the lessons that Bad tried. Bad had sighed and pointed out that everyone had varying levels of magic, and Tubbo had gotten the short end of the straw.

His soulmate had never really cared and had preferred to read one of the four books that Finn had on phoenixes - one on magic, one on traditions, one on a random battle that made no sense to Tommy at all, but Tubbo talked to Tommy and Finn about it for hours - and the last, a small book of fairy tales that parents had read to their phoenix children. Techno had been fascinated by the Netherite that was apparently used by the original phoenixes, and Skeppy had made him his own Netherite sword until they had realized that phoenixes handled Netherite far differently - it was lighter for them and extremely heavy for the other avians. Techno spent weeks perfecting his new sword until he could lift it without any real effort, and Tommy was slightly wary of the only metal that could kill a phoenix - though he'd never say that out loud. 

He looked over his shoulder as he crossed the outer city walls, leaving the bustling market behind, and smirked when he saw Techno a dozen feet behind him, and Wilbur panting at the back, muttering things under his breath.

Skeppy yelped. "This was a terrible idea," the older phoenix said as he flipped in the air to land on Tommy's other side, the flash of red, orange, and yellow feathers painting the midday sky like a brush across a canvas. 

"It was your idea," Tommy pointed out, barely feeling winded - he was addicted to flying, and Phil had taken over his flying lessons from Spifey until he was content with Tommy's skills.

"I thought we'd catch Harvey or something," Skeppy muttered, wiping sweat from his brow. "But no, he had to be painting his nails with Finn."

"Are you really surprised?" Tommy asked with a small burst of laughter. It was easier now - laughing when the lights were bright and everything seemed clear. It was harder in the night when the memories banged on the door and he curled on the sheets with his wings glowing, eyes squeezed shut, and tried to repress every bad thing that had ever happened to him.

Yet, he learned to laugh. When he laughed, it made everything lighter for his family, who were always so patronizingly worried for him that it annoyed him until Techno had sat him down and made him understand that they were just crazy overprotective and worried for him. Just as Dream, Sapnap, and George were for Tubbo, and the eleven of the phoenixes were for each other.

He did understand that he worried them. That when he'd gone to visit Niki to surprise Wilbur for his birthday (he got a cake with the words SUCK IT GREEN BOIIIII written on it in green icing) and forgotten to tell anyone and had come back to the castle in an uproar - that perhaps he should have told someone. Perhaps it would have stopped Tubbo from all but leaping on him crying as he stood there, bewildered, as seventeen people all let out breaths of relief and one clung to him with the grip of a giant and the tears of the skies. 

"No," Skeppy grumbled, and Tommy looked over his shoulder to see that Techno was gaining on them, his eyes narrowing playfully, his pink braided hair flying behind him in the wind. Wilbur was about two dozen yards behind the trio, seemingly lagging behind, but not wanting to miss out on the shitshow that would happen once Techno caught either of the phoenixes. "But - to be fair, Harvey made me buy those rainbow arm warmers the other day."

Tommy inclined his head in agreement. "I mean, on the bright side - " he paused, taking in a big gulp of air as the wind ruffled through his feathers. They were flying over the forest now, going lower and lower, both of them wordlessly agreeing to try to lose Techno in the trees. " - they have green slime on them."

"Not anymore," Skeppy grumbled. "I told you we should have put food dye on it."

"Wilbur would have killed me if I'd dyed his wings, even if it had lasted a week," Tommy said. 

"Yeah?" Skeppy said. "I think he's gonna kill us anyway."

"He's gonna try," Tommy mumbled, knowing, in reality, they'd be caught eventually - but like the manhunts between Dream, George, and Sapnap - it was all for fun and Techno wasn't really that mad. He glanced over his shoulder again. Swallowed.

Well, that mad, anyway.

"Techno's gonna slaughter us," Skeppy groaned as they ducked under the forest canopy, splitting up in flashes of gold and auburn and rubies as they flew around trunks and under branches. 

"Like I said," Tommy grunted with exertion as he tucked in his wings to grate between two trees. "Not if I can help it." He glanced behind him once more, smirking when he didn't see two shapes flicking through the trees behind him. "I think we lost - "

His words were cut off as Skeppy gave a warning cry, but neither had time to react as they slammed face-first into a nearly-invisible netting made of some type of metal - dark metal that Tommy inherently knew to be Netherite.

The moment the two phoenixes hit the chains, the back closed around them, and because neither Tommy nor Skeppy could keep up their wings with the chains tugging them down, they fell to the forest floor. Tommy struggled to get the metal netting off him, but he couldn't breathe properly, his anxiety rising - endless, the chains were endless - and then Skeppy's harried breathing froze beside him, and Tommy heard twigs crack as footsteps sounded on the forest floor.

He looked up, and everything went silent. His own mind, his throat, every muscle was frozen as he stared up at the person that he had killed - he had killed him, he had - the doctor that had tormented him for years and years was there. Tommy had watched him die with wrathful glee, choking on blood with a sword - Tommy's sword - through his gut. He remembered the exhilaration he had felt afterward - the revenge had felt good, as much as he had hated himself for taking a life.

"You're dead ," he choked out.

Skeppy frowned. "You know him?" he muttered.

"Of course we know each other," the Fallen said eagerly, his dark wings on his back stark against the lively forest background. "We've known each other for years. Isn't that right, Tommy?"

Tommy shuddered at the name in the mouth of the person who had hurt him. He felt a hand touch his, and suddenly he was gripping onto Skeppy's hands for dear life, nails digging into the other phoenix's palms. "Don't call me that," he spat, trying not to let the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes fall. "Don't fucking say that." The tears fell anyway, and he saw the glee in the Fallen's eyes at the wetness on his cheeks. "I killed you."

The Fallen's face twisted into a scowl. "Yes, you impudent child, you did, and you set us back months because of that." Tommy shook as more Fallen emerged from the trees - there had to be a dozen of them, and he didn't have a weapon, and by Skeppy's glare, he didn't have anything to stab them with either. "It matters not. I'm going to enjoy making you pay for that."

Tommy whimpered, and suddenly fire burst into his mind, and the dozen Fallen jumped back with a yell as fire burst to life atop the Netherite - he was a phoenix, he controlled the metal, and it did not control him - and he tossed the net aside, the heat barely felt in his palms, fire on his wings and in his palms. "RUN!" he screamed to the other phoenix.

To Skeppy's credit, he didn't hesitate before opening his wings and taking to the skies.

To the Fallen's credit, they didn't hesitate either as one of them drew back a concealed crossbow and raised it into the air at the barked order of the doctor. Tommy's scream shattered the sky as the bolt was fired, burying itself under Skeppy's left collarbone.

Right through his heart.

And like only a phoenix could, when Skeppy died, he burst into ashes. Tommy reached out and grabbed at one as it rained down like rain from the clouds, tears running down his eyes. He knew Skeppy would be back - he knew that because Skeppy was a phoenix, but it hurt seeing one of his friends die. He knew that the arrow had hurt Skeppy, that his friend would be in the arms of death for forever long it took to regenerate.

Luckily, the arrow had been made of iron and not Netherite. Luckily, Skeppy was only dead today. Tommy let out a long shaky breath, his fire flickering out as tears poured down his face.

This was his fault. He led Skeppy out here. And now the phoenix had experienced his first death because of him. He was such a horrible person.

Hands clamped down on his wrists, and Tommy struggled to get out of the Fallen's grip, kicking and scratching - to no avail. He finally found his voice again as the last of Skeppy's ashes coated the ground in a pattern of grey, tilting his chin back. 

"TECHNOBLADE!"

Nearly instantly, he was thrown to the ground, someone's hand covering his mouth as he was wrestled onto his knees. 

"Foolish boy," the doctor sneered, and motioned to one of his men, who brought forth a contraption that rang a memory in Tommy's mind - he'd seen it used before on convicts who had tried to escape - they were wing clamps, but he could see these were made for a phoenix.

For him. 

"Nobody can hear you for miles," the doctor said, as Tommy thrashed, trying to get out of the grip of the nameless Fallen who held him to the ground with limbs of steel. Tommy gasped into the hand that covered his mouth, whimpering as the Fallen with the wing clamps drew closer, bearing that horrid thing that would keep him from flying. 

A snarl rang out in the forest, and suddenly a whirl of pink and feathers and his red cape. The person holding him suddenly let go, and Tommy collapsed into another person's arms - but these were familiar and as he lay, wings quivering on the ground, he looked up into the eyes of his older brother.

"Hey, Tommy," Wilbur murmured. "It's gonna be okay, alright."

Tommy was a child again. He clung to Wilbur's chest and cried, and Wilbur, always the older one, curled his white and yellow wings - a blessed break from the black feathers - around Tommy, murmuring sweet nonsensical words.

Tommy knew for a fact that Techno didn't have a sword on him - why would he? - yet somehow the ring of metal-on-metal rang out in the clearing. People screamed, and Wilbur ran his hands through Tommy's blonde locks and soothed the tears away. He tucked his face under Wilbur's chin, focusing on his brother's heartbeat instead of the battle, trying not to blubber words.

It faded into silence, and Tommy heard the heavy footfalls draw nearer. He shook, his phoenix wings cold and dark and tucked tightly into his back at the memory of the clamp, and Wilbur's shirt was wet and tear-stained; though the older boy didn't seem to care.

"How is he?" came Techno's gruff voice.

"Terrible," Wilbur answered truthfully.

Techno growled again, a low sound in the back of his throat as Wilbur uncurled his wings from around Tommy to reveal his eldest brother, whose white shirt was slightly blood-speckled and carried a stolen sword in his hand, his hawk wings ruffled in rage. Tommy craned his neck to look around Wilbur's feathers, paling at the bodies, some of which were crumbling to ash as he watched. He hadn't thought to ask about the bodies in the castle when he'd first killed them - but their behavior, while slower than that of phoenixes, was very rebirth-like.

"Hey," Techno said, in a voice that he very rarely used, kneeling down to look into Tommy's tear-filled eyes. "Hey, kid."

"Hey," Tommy croaked back, finding that despite not really having shouted, his throat was sore.

Techno forced a smile at him. "I got you, kid," he said. "Don't worry."

Tommy muttered numbly, but that didn't stop him from thinking that had Techno been one minute late, that piece of metal that taunted him from the ground would be on his back.

"Where's Skeppy?" Wilbur asked suddenly, the hand that had been in Tommy's hair stopping.

"Dead," Tommy muttered. "Not - not permanently," he clarified, as Techno's eyes widened, glancing at the amount of netherite around. "He - he'll be back in about six hours or so." His voice trembled slightly, but neither of his brothers commented on it.

Techno nodded stoutly. "We're going back to the castle," he announced. "Wil, can you carry him?"

Tommy struggled out of Wilbur's grip, and managed to somehow fail miserably - he was usually stronger than Wilbur. "I - I can fly."

"You look like a piece of paper, nerd," Techno commented wryly. "Like a twig, honestly. I don't think you're in any shape to fly."

"I'm not weak," Tommy muttered, as Wilbur stood up, hefting him in his arms. Tommy clung to him, suddenly feeling small - he wasn't short by any means, but Wilbur was just a giant - feeling like a child in the arms of his older brother.

"Neither of us said you were," Wilbur said. "It's okay, Tommy." He gave Tommy a sad smile. "It's okay."

Tommy squeezed his eyes shut as Wilbur spread his wings and sprung into the air, his hands clenched desperately onto his tunic, trying to ground himself.

"Breathe, Toms," Wilbur murmured as they flew back the way they'd come, Techno tailing them. It was only then that Tommy realized he'd been holding his breath.

"But Skeppy - " Tommy started.

"We'll come back," Techno assured darkly. "No doubt with his entire gang waiting for him, too - but we'll be back. He won't respawn alone."

"I knew - I knew them," he managed weakly.

"What?" Wilbur said sharply.

"I knew them," he said again. "The Fallen, I mean."

Techno hissed. "They shouldn't have gotten away before - "

"LISTEN TO ME!" he shouted, starting Wilbur, who dropped a few feet in surprise. Techno looked at him, a frown marring his face. "Listen to me," he said again, clenching his fists tighter - if possible. "I've seen them before. The main - he's...he's the doctor. I killed him months ago, and he's standing in front of me again."

"Fuck," Wilbur cursed.

Techno was silent for a moment. "Are you sure ?" he said urgently.

"Technoblade, that man tortured me for years and I remember killing him," Tommy pointed out. "I know him. I know some of the others too. Why don't you believe me?"

"I do believe you," Wilbur said. "But...they're not phoenixes. They can't be back."

"Well, they are," he said stubbornly. "And they're gonna keep coming back."

"Yeah?" Techno said. "Not if I kill them over and over again until they stay dead."

"While I'm sure Tommy appreciates the sentiment," Wilbur said. "They don't respawn where they died." He glanced at Tommy. "They didn't in the castle, anyway, where they were killed. I think they're different than phoenixes."

"Yeah, no fucking shit," he snarled.

"Hey, hey," Wilbur said, in that annoyingly soothing voice that he uses when he's trying to get Tommy to stay calm - and fucking hell, it was working and Tommy hated himself for that. "We'll always be there for you, Tommy, okay?"

The words you weren't for eight years sat on the edge of his tongue, ready to slip out in all his anger and fear - but he bit his lip and kept it inside until it dissolved away like summer into autumn. He doesn't blame them for that, because it's not their fault - how could they have known that he was a phoenix? How could anyone have known?

How had the Fallen known?

Questions that will probably never be answered ran through his mind as he curled up in Wilbur's grip, the castle walls drawing nearer and nearer, and Technoblade growing impossibly more agitated as they fly over the town, the familiar rumble of imperceptible words fly through his ears. Some of the people, mostly children, in the sky, give them a wide berth as they chase each other through the air, but Tommy can hear their giggles, and part of his heart wishes that he could be normal like them. 

Instead, he clung to Wilbur and tried not to think about that Netherite contraption that would have grounded him. He tried not to think about the people that were alive - that shouldn't be alive, because he and his family and his extended family had killed them - but were alive, and had tried to kidnap him and killed Skeppy.

There was a window in the dining hall that's open, now, always - except during the warm days - because so many people lived in the castle now. So many more than the three before had. 

The painting hallway had been changed and moved around. Four months after Tommy had returned permanently, he had all but been stuffed into a white shirt and a red cloak and some brown pants and forced to sit for two hours as they had a family painting. He was bored out of his fucking mind the entire way through, but a week later he found Phil staring at it at early morning hours with a huge smile on his face, and Wilbur always paused to look at it when he walked down the hallway.

So he decided that it had been worth it. And two weeks later, a second painting was commissioned of the eleven phoenixes sitting on the grass in the gardens having a picnic. Instead of sitting stiffly, the painter had told them to act naturally - and so of course Skeppy had started a food fight. When Tommy had watched the unveiling, he had laughed when he'd seen the purple plum juice staining Tubbo's green tunic and the annoyed expression on Vurb's face as he'd shoved Bad and Skeppy. He also saw his soulmate mark on his t-shirt, and Tubbo's was in full sight as well, a huge grin on his face and an apple in his hand. Finn and Harvey had makeup in their hands and were basically wrestling Spifey to be their muse - he was just lying there, looking disgruntled as they applied bright pink eyeshadow. Mega and Astelic were the cleanest - despite being the smallest, everyone was deathly afraid of them as they ate their food instead of throwing it, glaring at everyone near them. Zelk was dangling from the apple tree, tossing apples at everyone who dared go near him, a laugh on his face.

The bright colors of the phoenix's wings dominated the scene, and while in the beginning, Tommy had been annoyed that they'd looked all the same - he saw the differences, now. The wing shapes, the slight shades of fiery red and orange and yellow; the size and height and narrowness of the feathers that sprung from the back of the only eleven phoenixes to exist across the land. 

Wilbur tilted his wings and flew into the dining hall, Techno following him, an agitated look on his face as he landed briskly on his feet, tucking his wings in.

The rest of the people were in there, and Bad seemed to be angry, which wasn't an expression that Tommy saw often on the usually-soft man. Everyone else, even Dream, looked terrified at him - yet the argument stopped as the three of them entered the room.

"Techno! Wilbur! Tommy!" Phil shouted, relief filling him and his wings closing as he stopped being anxious and looked relieved.

Techno wasted no time at all. "The Fallen are back," he said darkly, as Wilbur put Tommy down on shaking legs. Tubbo came rushing over, his eyes wide and full of horror at Techno's words, and Tommy nodded warily, reaching out and taking Tubbo's warm hand, the disc on Tubbo's wrist pulsing as he touched him.

"They - what?" Dream asked.

"Where's Skeppy?" Bad demanded.

"Dead," Tommy said when nobody answered. Bad's eyes widened, a hand coming up to cover his mouth, and Zelk hissed in surprise, his phoenix wings flashing as anger filled Skeppy's nine flockmates. "Not permanently," he confirmed after a moment, and he saw Bad nearly collapse in relief, Vurb reaching an arm over and keeping him upright. "The Fallen shot him."

"They're back," Spifey murmured, fear flickering in his eyes.

"Yes," Techno said. "And it gets worse."

Sapnap snorted. "It can get worse?"

Wilbur, Techno, and Tommy all nodded in unison. Just about every person in the dining hall paled. 

"They're the ones that we killed," Techno said, slamming his hand on the table. "They came back."

"That's not possible," Finn argued. "They're not phoenixes."

Wilbur threw up his hands. "They were kidnapping phoenixes for a reason. Maybe they figured out the cure for immortality."

Dream cursed. "Of course," he said. " Of course ."

"Can you take me to the place where Skeppy died?" Bad asked urgently, and Tommy zeroed in on the hands that Bad had clasped together - one hand clamping over his wrist and the little duck that rested there. He felt a pang in his heart for the other phoenix; who had probably felt Skeppy's death the moment it had occurred. He could barely remember feeling Tubbo's - perhaps because they had barely met, then, and he was glad that neither of them had died since. 

"Of course," Techno said graciously. "I need to go grab my sword." He whirled on his feet and stalked out of the hall.

"He sounds angry," Astelic remarked, playing with part of her hair nervously.

Tommy laughed dryly. Wilbur's grip on his shoulder tightened worriedly. "Of course he is," he said. "They nearly got me again." Phil was by his side in an instant, and Tommy blinked as just about every visible part of his body was inspected. "Phil, I'm fine."

"Dad, they had those awful wing clamps," Wilbur said, face white. "They were made of Netherite."

Finn froze, whirling. "They what ?"

"They had those wing clamps," Tommy said, repeating the words of his older brother. "' Cept they were made of Netherite instead of metal."

"Goddamnit!" Dream yelled suddenly, his fist coming down upon the table. Everyone jumped as the blonde-haired man put his face in his hands. "And here I thought it was over - of course not!" He laughed dryly. "Of course not."

"It never is," Phil said sadly. "But how could we have known they'd come back? The ashes didn't come back here, not like phoenixes. They respawned somewhere else."

"We're going to find it," Techno's voice said as he stalked back into the dining hall, his sword strapped firmly to his waist, and tossing Dream's to his, who caught it and nodded in Techno's direction. Phil caught his as well, and Tommy fumbled out of both Wilbur and Tubbo's grip to catch his, feeling a bit better at the dark Netherite that shone back at him. He could defend himself.

He would be fine.

"Can we go?" Bad asked weakly, glancing out the window at the sun. "Please?"

"Bad, he won't respawn for a few hours," Vurb said.

"No, it's fine," Techno said. "I'll take him. Just in case there are any more of 'em."

"I'm coming too," Phil said. "I need to take a look at the contraptions."

"I'll - " Dream started.

"No," Techno said, jabbing a finger at him. "Stay." His face softened as he looked over at Tommy, who was trying not to be scared with every muscle he had - and Tubbo, who was shaking like a leaf and hid it far worse than Tommy. "Protect our little brothers, Dream. I trust you."

"What about me?" Wilbur demanded hotly.

"Wil, Tommy could beat you blindfolded." Wilbur faded into silence at Phil's words, looking annoyed - but in agreement, at least. 

"We'll be back by midnight," Techno said. "If we're not...don't come looking for us right away. They'll expect you."

Dream nodded and drew his sword.

He didn't put it away for hours.

* * *

None of them slept. While Tubbo usually went to bed three hours before midnight, he stayed up with Tommy in the dining hall, fiddling with his crossbow as he waited for the return. Across it, Harvey, Vurb, and Astelic sat in a triangle, their hushed whispers echoing across the hall. As the light faded, Tommy - who usually lit the candles - couldn't find the fire in him to it, too busy trying not to break down into tears every time he saw a shadow flit across the window; be it cloud, birds, or even a fellow avian. Instead, Mega smiled at him, face full of pity, and lit the candles with little streams of flame from his fingertips.

The sun set.

Phil, Techno, and Bad did not come back.

George and Sapnap became restless with worry, and Dream eventually set them on patrols directly outside the dining hall. They became more dark shapes to be afraid of, more sounds of wings flapping that he turned towards, sword raised, before he saw George crouched on the balcony, staring at him, or Sapnap hanging from the edge of the roof.

He was scared to admit he was terrified. Stupid, wasn't it? That while Harvey vanished and came back with some food from the kitchens that he was terrified of going and getting a blanket because he grew cold. That the hallways, despite being dark and full of moonlight, and ones that he had run up and down many many times since coming back, were now terrifying. That he was afraid of leaving the radius of Dream's pacing feet; of Tubbo's comfortable embrace; of Wilbur on his other side, whose shoulder his head was resting on as they both waited for their dad and brother to come home. That he was so horribly afraid of going anywhere alone despite knowing that the guards would probably see the Fallen before they could get to him - that despite everything he had worked towards - despite him thinking that he was no longer afraid, he was terrified.

He was scared of the Fallen. He was scared of what they could do to him - what they could do to Tubbo, what they could do to any member of his family or extended family if they were taken. He was terrified of any movement, any spot of darkness in the corners of his room - he was so utterly terrified that his fire was gone, banished to regions so far into his mind he couldn't hope to pick apart the tangle of webs that held it captive.

The bread in his mouth tasted revolting, despite having been baked by Bad. He spat it out onto the plate and covered the offending thing with a napkin, his stomach spinning nauseatingly in his chest.

"You have to eat," Wilbur murmured, hanging him a cherry-red apple that gave him the distinct memory of blood in the current mindset he was in.

"Can't," he grunted. 

Wilbur sighed but didn't force Tommy any further, for which he was immensely glad. Part of him knew that was only because Wilbur was on the edge of his seat, his wings flaring ever so slightly as he tried to not let the emotion show on his face. 

Part of him knew that Wilbur, just like Techno, and very unlike Tubbo and Phil, hated letting their emotions show - which made no sense to him, but seemingly perfect sense to his two older brothers.

He knew that any other day Wilbur would either wrestle him until he ate, or tickled him into agreeing - no in-betweens - besides the days that Wilbur was tired and got Tubbo to make puppy-dog eyes at him until he compliantly followed the brown-haired man's wishes. 

He watched the clock on the wall as the hands spun, counting down the time until midnight. With each passing minute, his heart grew heavier, and every nightmare he had ever had came to life in far greater detail than he had ever wanted. He tried to banish them, but for every one cast away, five more took his place, and eventually, his head was full of blood and pictures of his eldest brother and father dead on the ground, glassy-eyed and silent.

Tubbo nestled up closer to him, one of his wings; though smaller than Tommy's, wrapping around him, far warmer than any blanket could be. His wings, like the other phoenix's in the room, shed a small glowing orange as he emitted heat - heat that Tommy couldn't emit with his magic locked up. He leaned into the wing slightly, feeling Tubbo exhale lightly into his shoulder as he ran a hand through the soft feathers.

And despite the anxiety that everyone could feel thrumming through the room - through Wilbur and Tommy and Tubbo sitting at the table, with Dream pacing, his sword out - with half the phoenixes in harried whispered conversations, and the other half, which included Mega, Zelk, Astelic, and Vurb, playing Uno - four strokes before midnight, Techno, Phil, Bad, and Skeppy returned.

George and Sapnap landed on the balcony as Techno arrived, Phil swooping in behind him, his dark purple wings looking especially menacing with yellow moonlight shining off their pristineness. And behind them - Harvey and Finn let out cries of relief and everyone scrambled up - Bad and Skeppy came in, the former carrying the latter, who looked disgruntled but exhausted. 

Tommy nearly bowled over Phil as he hugged him, squeezing him so tight that he was sure that Phil would roll over and die. After all, he was old.

"I'm not old," Phil said with a playful scowl, running a hand through Tommy's hair. "Not for a while, mate."

As Tommy pushed away from his father, rolling his eyes, Wilbur released Techno - who, as per usual, looked awkward from the social encounter, his arms stiffly at his side and his hawk wings puffed up slightly.

"Idiot," Tommy said fondly.

Techno glared at him. "I swear to the blood god I'm going to murder this child," he said into the air.

"I'm not a child."

Techno opened his mouth to argue, but Wilbur waved his hand for attention. "Find anything?" the middle brother said, as usual, getting the family back on track. Tommy glanced over his shoulder and smirked as he saw Skeppy bat away Bad's support, the black-haired boy huffing in annoyance. Bad threw up his hands in disbelief, and Vurb clapped Skeppy on the back, causing the shorter man to cringe in what seemed to be a flash of fear and pain.

Tommy had a bit of empathy for the phoenix - he remembered dying for the first time, even if he didn't remember many of the middle ones. The first time you met Death it was the hardest, and easiest, to turn around and go back. Hard, because you were confused and dazed by what had happened, and Death would try to coax you onwards into his arms. Easy, because you were scared and you could see the doorway that would inevitably lead you back to the land of the living.

The deaths that Tommy had had before he'd met Tubbo had been the hardest. Hard to pry himself out of Death's warm grip and exit through that doorway - hard to stay alive when everything had seemed so bleak. He hadn't experienced one since, and he didn't wish to.

"No," Techno said, after a moment. "Just ash."

"No Fallen," Phil confirmed, rolling his shoulder blades slightly. "I don't think they respawn there."

"Right," Wilbur said. "I'm going to go to sleep. You coming, Tommy? Tubbo?"

"Sure," Tubbo said, with a small yawn, rubbing his eyes. "Tommy?"

"I - I think I'll stay up a bit longer," Tommy said, casting a quiet gaze over to Skeppy, who seemed to be ignoring everything the phoenixes were saying and was staring at the wall, his arms wrapped around himself. Tommy frowned when he saw the slightly darker shade of red that cropped the top of his wings - not in confusion, 'cause he knew what they meant, but because he knew that look on Skeppy's face.

* * *

Everyone else left to sleep.

And Tommy stayed up, sitting in the center of the dining hall, his head in his hands, as one by one, the phoenixes went off to bed, Bad and Skeppy leaving last, the former leading the other towards their joined bedroom.

He stayed up because he did not want to go down the dark hallways with shadows from the candlelight. He stayed up because he did not want to sleep, despite being so tired that he felt like his eyes were going to fall out of his head - he stayed up because, even though he would never admit it anywhere but in his own head, he was so fucking afraid.

He was afraid that he'd fall asleep, and, like his childhood, get taken out of his bed. Even though he knew that his room was right in between Wilbur and Phil and his window was nearly impossible to get through without making a large amount of noise - the Fallen had somehow obtained the key to rebirth, so why couldn't figure this out.

His hands shook slightly as he remembered their cold fingers pressed against his skin; their oily black wings. A single tear dripped down his face. Then two.

He was supposed to be getting better, dammit.

It seemed that he had slipped. All his progress - gone, in an instant. A single meeting. A single battle had caused him to become the person that he had fought so hard to free himself from. A single interaction with a group of people he had stupidly told himself were dead.

They had wanted him because he was a phoenix - they had, in his lifetime, figured out the key to rebirth. Maybe it was his feathers or his blood, or by seeing the magic of phoenixes - this was his fault. Maybe he should have died there - they would never have figured out how to come back.

He should have died.

"Tommy?" a voice croaked.

Tommy jumped in surprise, his sword coming out of his sheath so fast as his wings spread in a defensive position, the dark Netherite blade pointed towards the man standing in the doorway.

It was Skeppy, looking exhausted - not just from lack of sleep, but no doubt from his rebirth as well. Tommy knew very well that while dying seemed like it should be as easy as sleeping - that it was a really tiring and draining experience. Skeppy was a strong phoenix; he had started Tommy's sword training until Techno had taken over - yet his wings were drooping slightly and his usually perfect-messy hair looked unkempt and out of place.

"Hey, Skeppy," he said, suddenly glad for the company in the empty expanse of the dining hall. The flickering shadows were doing things - making him see things that weren't there.

Skeppy wandered over, kicking up a chair next to Tommy. "I - I wanted to ask you a few things," the other phoenix admitted, rubbing his eyes.

Tommy licked his chapped lips. He knew what was coming - Skeppy hadn't died, and he had; it made sense. "Yeah?" he said hoarsely, glad that in the faint light Skeppy wouldn't be able to make out the tear tracks under his eyes. Glad that neither his wings nor the other boy's wings shed light at all; one barred from the inside and the other too tired to do so. 

"When - when, you know, you die," Skeppy said, finding it hard to say the words. "Is he - does he wait for you? On the Other side?"

Tommy tilted his head. "Do you mean Death?" he asked.

"Yeah, a big guy with a cloak," Skeppy said, making the motions. Tommy laughed a bit, the movement hurting his bruised chest. "He...is he supposed to be that comforting?"

"He told you everything you wanted, didn't he?" Tommy said.

Skeppy hung his head. "That's why it took eight hours," he said. "Because I actually thought about it."

"You think I haven't?" Tommy asked. "Of course I did. The first, second, third... every single time I've paused and thought about what would happen if I followed him into the Other side. Sometimes I took his hand and stopped inches before the door. He always waited for me, every time."

"What did he say?" Skeppy asked. "You don't have to say it if you don't want to - "

"No," Tommy interrupted. "No, it's fine. He...well, um, he would tell me that I would be able to wait for my family there. I'd get to see them eventually, and I wouldn't have to be in pain. He was always kind about it."

"I wish I were as strong as you," Skeppy said wistfully. "You were - what, eight or something when you died?" Tommy nodded. "And you came back."

"I was a kid, Skeppy," Tommy pointed out. "Death gave me a choice, and I was a kid . I didn't really understand the concept of dying. I just knew my family was in Life and I didn't want to leave them. I thought they would rescue me." He shrugged. "Eventually, I got out of there."

"But the call of Death..." Skeppy trailed off. "You were able to resist it."

"So were you," he said.

"Not as easy as you," Skeppy muttered.

"I was a kid, Skeppy," he said, fixing the other phoenix with a half-hearted glare. "There was nothing for me in Death. Maybe when I grew a bit older and I just wanted to get away, but I was a kid and I wanted my family. And my family was very much alive."

"So is mine!" Skeppy burst out angrily. "Finn and Bad and Harvey and the others - and you guys - you're all my family! I've never known anyone else!"

"He said that you would get to see your ancestors," Tommy observed. Skeppy fell into silence. "Skeppy, for everyone else in this world - " He didn't mention the Fallen, feeling queasy at just the thought. " - you only have one life. For every single person in this city besides the eleven of us, you have one chance. Death is a natural pull because of that. It's a part of life, and phoenixes are different, I suppose. The call is much harder to resist because of that." 

Skeppy eyed him curiously. "When did you get so wise?"

Tommy pushed him gently. "Oh, shut up, bitch, I'm always wise."

"As Bad would say, LANGUAGE!"

"You spend too much time around him."

"Tommy, he's my soulmate."

"So?"

"What do you mean, ‘so’?" Skeppy whined. "That's like asking you to spend less time around Tubbo!" He stuck his lip out, pouting. "Bad's all warm and fluffy."

"I don't know what that means," Tommy sniffed. "But at least my soulmate isn't a swearing barrier."

Skeppy swatted at him, giggling. "Stop it! At least he makes good muffins and bread!"

"It tastes like shit," Tommy lied.

"Didn't Mega catch you sneaking into the kitchens and stealing a batch for Tubbo and yourself?"

He blushed. "No. I don't know what you're talking about, bitch."

Skeppy smirked at him. "Sure, Tommy. Sure."

Tubbo joined them an hour later, stumbling into the dining hall - clearly not having slept. He sat down next to Tommy and Skeppy.

None of them slept that night.

* * *

"We have to do something !" Techno yelled, slamming his fist on the table. Tommy jumped slightly, his eyes drooping. Beside him, Tubbo had the deep purpleness under his eyes showing he hadn't slept either - at least Skeppy could play it off as his rebirth.

"I sent a letter to the other rulers," Phil said quietly, trying to calm his eldest son down. "Asking if they'd seen the Fallen. There's nothing much we can do, Tech."

"I am not going to sit here and let them come to us," Techno growled. "Not like last time. And I bet you that Dream ain't going to do that either."

"He's right," Dream said, his mask expressionless as usual, but there was something - maybe a wave of quiet anger - behind his voice that Tommy could discern. "I won't sit here and let them take my brother again."

"I didn't say that," Phil said patiently. "I don't expect us to sit around. But we can't go out there and search for them. We have no idea where they are, or where they could be. Not even a cardinal direction." 

"I don't care," Techno said, and Tommy cringed slightly at the anger, nibbling at a piece of toast in his hands and trying not to let his feathers puff up from agitation. Skeppy sat across from him, occasionally glancing up at him as Bad tried to force breakfast down his throat, proclaiming something stupid about it being the most important meal of the day. The rest of the phoenixes sat in silence, watching the exchange between the two royal families. "I will search everywhere if I have to."

"And leave Tommy behind?" Phil said quietly.

Techno opened his mouth - and snapped it shut as Tommy met his eyes. "No, of course not - he's - "

"You and Dream are the best fighters in the land," Phil said. "I freely admit that. The Fallen can respawn, and I will not let anyone get taken. I'm sorry Techno, but I can't let you leave."

"The longer we wait, the longer they go without sleep," Techno snarled, jabbing a finger in the direction of the three of them that sat at the end of the table.

"What?" Bad said, confused. "Skeppy slept."

"Yeah," Dream said. "I watched Tubbo sleep. Right, Tubs?"

Tommy looked at his soulmate, who tiredly blinked at him before resting his forehead on the edge of the table. Skeppy sighed as he leaned back in his seat. Tommy swallowed. "No," he said honestly. "We didn't sleep."

"Why?" Wilbur demanded.

"They stayed up, so I did too," Tommy said, refusing to admit in front of all the people that he was scared.

Tubbo decided to ruin that. "We were afraid," he confessed, slowly. 

"Why?" George asked curiously. "It's safe here."

"You don't know that," Tommy said weakly. "They got in once, they'll get in again." He took a single, shaky breath. "And this time they'll come back. Again and again. Until they have what they want."

"What do they want?" Sapnap asked.

He frowned. "My guess is the phoenixes." Finn went white at his words, running a hand nervously through his long brown hair. "Their methods aren't perfect. And I think they want to be immortal. They want us." He gestured with a slightly-shaking hand at the phoenixes, frozen in the midst of eating, on the left side of the table. "They want our feathers. They want our blood. And most of all, they want us to die ." He hissed the final word. "They were able to find some semblance of rebirth through one phoenix - imagine what they could do with eleven." He shook his head, rubbing at his eyes. "So no, I can't sleep. I don't want to sleep. I am so tired but I can't sleep - because what if they're here? What if they take me again, in the middle of the night? What if they take any of us? Technoblade, you are the best duelist I have ever met. Dream, you are the most overprotective bastard I've ever met as well." Dream quirked an eyebrow at him, a small smirk showing underneath his mask. Techno crossed his arms and stared at him, pink braid thrown over his shoulder. "But you guys don't have second lives. Not like me, or Tubbo, or Skeppy, or Finn - or any of us. You guys will kill them if they come, but they will come back - over and over and over again, and eventually, you will fall. Be it tomorrow, in a month, even in a year's time - you will fall. You are not immortal, as much as you pretend like you are. They have found the key to rebirth, and an enemy that cannot be defeated is the worst kind of enemy."

"They're just people," Techno argued. "I will kill them over and over if I have to."

"No," Skeppy said. "Tommy's right. You may be the best, but you are not immortal. I am not immortal either. None of us are immortal. Phoenixes can be killed."

"Yeah, we know," Dream said in annoyance. "They have to have their power bleed from them, like when Tommy's wings were black."

"No," Finn said coolly. "That is not the only method it takes to kill phoenixes. There is one thing that can kill them." Techno looked at him curiously. "Our ancestors created it to keep the ones who abused their rebirth in check. There is one thing that will hurt us more than anything - that sticks with us past our deaths and is our undoing, given the chance."

"Stop spouting riddles and answer the question," Wilbur spat.

Finn reached down and drew his shortsword in one single swoop, the dark metal shining in the light from the windows. "Netherite," he said simply. "The one metal designed to hurt phoenixes. Created by us, a part of us - controlled by us."

"And able to kill us," Harvey murmured. "Permanently."

"Had that arrow that hit me been Netherite," Skeppy explained, tapping his fingers on the table as the attention in the room turned to him. "I would be dead. That's all it takes. We may seem immortal, but we are not. We created the very weapons that Finn believes killed the phoenixes long ago."

"There's no proof," Finn said nervously. "But...why else would they be dead? It's not like they stopped having children - something happened to them. Something was the reason they died off or went into hiding. There's a reason we're the only ones left. I think they were killed off by the very thing that was created to protect us."

Techno stared at the sword gripped in his hand, and slowly sheathed it. "Why didn't you tell us it was so dangerous?" he asked.

"It's not well known," Finn said with a shrug. "I was hoping that it wouldn't get passed around. Just for your brother's sakes." Dream inclined his head slightly. "But...the Fallen know." He looked at Tommy.

"They know," he confirmed. "I bet they knew the moment that this happened." He rolled up his sleeve to reveal the mess of scars on his arms, all from Netherite - cuts given to him moments before he was killed by steel. Despite having already seen it, Phil had this angry expression on his face, and Techno looked flat-out ready to murder someone, and Wilbur just looked thoughtful, which he appreciated far more than pity. Tubbo reached up and put a hand over his, clasping his wrist and leaning his head on his shoulder. Tommy took a deep breath and let it out as he withdrew his hand. "I...guessed it could kill us," he admitted. "And then Finn confirmed it, so I wasn't really surprised."

"But why would the phoenixes create something that could hurt themselves?" Phil asked.

"They didn't," Zelk said, speaking up for the first time this morning. "It was meant as a semblance of control. But the secret got out, and it ended up in power-hungry hands." He laughed dryly. "And now here we are. The last remaining phoenixes of the land."

"Luckily it's a bloodline thing," Spifey sighed. "Otherwise there would be none."

"I didn't even know phoenixes were a thing before a year ago," Phil said. 

"I don't know how long ago they died out," Finn said. "There aren't any history books. There isn't any information about why they just disappeared." He threw up his hands. "There are four books on phoenixes. All of them are in this castle. And you have read all four, Techno - and Dream, too, I'm guessing."

"Poured over every inch," Dream said. "There's really nothing in it."

"Besides mating calls," Tubbo said.

"What the fuck- " Tommy started, turning to his soulmate, who was grinning proudly. "I thought you were dyslexic. How the fuck did you read that chapter in the tradition book?" He had stayed far away from that chapter, not wanting to read it. Besides, the only full-female phoenix here was Astelic - and gross, he wasn't going to marry her. 

"Oh, I had Vurb read it to me."

"Of course you did," Dream groaned, throwing a small glare at the phoenix, who held up his hands, a smirk on his face. "Why would you read that to Tubbo?"

"To be fair, he asked."

"Yeah, and if Tommy asked to be pushed off a cliff, would you do that?" Techno asked.

"Dream already did that, without consent," Wilbur pointed out.

Dream jabbed a finger in the smug-faced direction of the brown-haired boy. "Shut up."

"Remember how mad Phil got at you?" Wilbur teased, seemingly not realizing how close Dream was to jumping him. "I haven't seen him this mad since the time I dyed Techno's hair pink right before a ball."

"And I still have the hair," Techno said.

"You re-dye it," Wilbur rebutted.

"Whatever."

Phil waited patiently until they were done. "Sons, if you're finished with what I'm sure is an important conversation," he said. "Then I'm sure you're glad to hear that the Comfy Kingdom received my pigeon and sent back a messenger crow. It arrived shortly before breakfast. Luckily, we go far enough back that they'll help us."

Techno stiffened slightly. "Dad, why did you ask the Comfy Kingdom to help us?" he asked resignedly. 

"I asked everyone," Phil said patiently. "They are just the closest. I know all the kingdoms have felt the effects of the Fallen. We're just being targeted now."

"Yeah, but - " Techno cut himself off, shuddering slightly. "They're weird. And dangerous."

"Hey," Wilbur said with a small frown. "I happen to like Pokimane." Tommy brightened. He remembered making fun of Wilbur for that many, many years ago. He had been six or seven when there had been a tournament - he remembered Techno winning, but a pretty brown-haired girl had come from the Comfy Kingdom to compete and he vividly remembered Wilbur being awkward around her. She'd gotten a solid third place as well, which had surprised everyone that had underestimated her. 

"This is just so embarrassing for you," Tommy said. Wilbur made a hitting motion and Tommy laughed, Tubbo muffling his giggles beside him.

"They just have different traditions," Phil said patiently. "They understand what a family is, even if the ones in their Inner Circle aren't blood-related."

"Phil, they force wrongdoers to compete in games to the death," Techno said.

"Yeah?" Phil said, raising an eyebrow. "Murderers, rapists - they die anyway. Best give them a chance to live. I find it quite interesting, honestly, and the people love it."

"What?" Tommy asked, confused.

Phil tilted his head. "Right, forgot you didn't know about that. The Comfy Kingdom puts its death-sentenced prisoners into a game of ten people, all wearing the same getup - in different colors - and some sort of voice changer that I don't understand. There are ten in total. Eight prisoners and two...well, two imposters. It's hosted in a big arena right outside the capital, with the top open so that spectators can watch. The eight so-called crewmates have to run around doing tasks. The imposters try to kill them. The crewmates, every time they enter a meeting, can try to vote out someone they think is the imposter. If the crewmates get the imposters out, then they win, and are banished from the city - but can go freely."

"Sounds traumatizing," Harvey remarked. Tubbo nodded in agreement, eyes wide.

"The imposters are two members of the Comfy Kingdom's Inner Circle, and sometimes Outer Circle," Phil continued. "They will kill the prisoners."

"Have - well, have the prisoners ever won?" Bad asked.

Phil tilted his head. "Once, I think," he said. "Only once. But the Comfy Kingdom doesn't only play this game instead of a trial system - they also host competitions in which the person just pretends to die if they get tapped in a certain area. I've been to a few myself. They're interesting."

"They're killing people for sport," Techno said through gritted teeth.

"Those people would have died anyway," Wilbur said. "At least they have a fighting chance."

"This...game," Skeppy said. "What is it called?"

Phil looked over at the phoenix, eyebrows furrowed. "Among Us," he said finally. "They call the game Among Us."

* * *

Phil forced Tommy, Tubbo, and Skeppy to go to sleep as they made plans and announcements to the city on what was currently happening - and if the alarm sounded, to hide and attack anything with black wings. Tommy didn't want to sleep, but Techno herded them back into a guest bedroom with two different beds. 

Well, technically, there were three, but Tommy and Tubbo went right for the same one and Skeppy jumped face-first onto the other one. Techno sighed.

"Don't worry, nerds," he said. "I'll be here the whole time. And as you know- "

"Yeah, yeah," Skeppy snorted. "Technoblade never dies. Is that a bit of green slime on your wings?"

Techno glared at him, rubbing at the offender. "Go to sleep or else I'll dump green slime on your wings," he said.

Tommy was already half-asleep, one of Tubbo's wings thrown across his body, his soulmate's quiet snores echoing across the room as Techno sat down on the couch, his sword across his lap, and opened up a book.

Tommy knew that he was trying to be nonchalant about it - Techno was never one to show that he cared, because he was afraid that people would take it away; had taken Tommy away, at one point. Skeppy had fallen asleep, head halfway off the bed and mouth open, when Tommy looked up at Techno, who fixed him with a quiet smile, bringing a finger to his lips.

"You're the best older brother ever," he whispered, snuggling further below the sheets, and shoving Tubbo's annoyingly overheated wing further from him. His soulmate grumbled but tucked them in.

Technoblade never cried, yet Tommy could have sworn his eyes glittered with something physical as he drifted off.

He awoke four hours later when Wilbur poked his head through the doorway. Tommy scrambled up, eyes wild and wings a mess, his hands raised to protect himself. Wilbur glanced at him with something akin to pity. "They're here," was all he said before he withdrew.

"Already?" Skeppy groaned, smashing his face further into the pillow. "I wanna sleep."

"Okay," Tommy said, and Techno frowned at him. Tommy winked at Techno's direction as Tubbo stretched, muttering some choice words under his breath. "We'll just leave you here, and - "

"No, I'm coming," Skeppy said, suddenly awake, a tremor of terror entering his voice. Tommy felt a tiny bit bad exploiting his fear, but dismissed it after a second thought. 

"How do I look?"

"Like you almost died," Techno said gruffly, marching over and straightening some of the feathers Tommy couldn't reach. In turn, Tommy reached over and smoothed some of Tubbo's feathers as the boy blinked at him blearily. Skeppy didn't really seem to care about his as he tucked them in, wiping a bit of spit onto his sky blue hoodie and running a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. 

"Thanks," he shot back, half-skipping to the open door and walking into the hallway. "Who's here, again?"

"Probably the people from the Comfy Kingdom," Techno said warily, not seeming to match his enthusiasm as Tommy whistled a tune, his hands in his pockets. Skeppy still looked exhausted - made sense, he usually got ten to twelve hours of sleep on a regular day, and he'd only gotten four or five. Tubbo looked slightly sleepy as well, but the boy and Tommy had often pulled all-nighters to explore the city or the castle or plan a prank. 

"Ooh, you think Pokimane is there?" Tommy piped up.

Techno shook his head. "Pokimane might be good at Among Us, but Phil asked for soldiers, and as smart as Poki is, she's usually used as a diplomat - and not a guard."

"Aw, man," Tommy said. "I was hoping to make fun of Wilbur."

"Do you know who will be there?" Tommy asked curiously.

"I have some ideas," Techno said, dodging the question. Tommy rolled his eyes - but it didn't really matter, as no matter how many names Techno said, it wasn't like he knew any of them. 

They rounded the corner into the dining hall. Just as he had left them, most everyone was there - except the phoenixes, whom Finn had wanted to talk to about safety. Tommy was suddenly glad that he'd gotten to take a nap. It would have probably been about not going outside after dark and not leaving the castle walls, and he was too scared to do that anyway.

Phil and Wilbur were talking to four people - three guys and a girl, who turned and looked at them as they entered the dining hall.

Tommy stumbled back as his eyes flew to the tallest one, who had black wings. "You - " he started.

"He's not a Fallen," Phil said placatingly. "They're just like crow wings, Tommy." 

He blushed, embarrassed at his reaction. Crow-wings looked at him, expressionless.

"So," the middle one said, adjusting his black glasses and stretching his teal blue wings. All four of them wore black pants and a white tunic, and had dark metal - not Netherite - armor around their chest, and a weird black fedora hat. "The phoenixes live again."

"Did you think we were lying?" Wilbur said, sounding slightly annoyed.

The girl laughed loudly. "Nah, but it's more interesting to see in person than through words." Her feathers were like blood. He frowned at the thought. She looked at him, and he could have sworn there was a deep sadness there that lingered as she stared at his fire-like wings, before vanishing into a crazed expression.

"Who the fuck are you?" Tommy asked.

"Tommy, don't be rude ," Phil scolded, looking slightly affronted.

Crown-wings scrutinized Tommy from under a purple and teeth-filled bunny mask; though one of the ears and half the face was missing. "Nah," he said, and the deepness of his voice practically astounded Tommy. "I think he's interesting."

"Damn, you have a deep voice," Skeppy said. "Even lower than yours, Technoblade!" he shoved the pink-haired man and giggled. Techno scowled at him as he walked past and sat down at the table.

"I'm Corpse," Mr. Deep Voice said. "And this is Sykkuno - " the brown-haired man with the striped green scarf waved at him happily. " - Valkyrae, but you can call her Rae - " The scary lady with the black hair that faded to blonde nodded at him. " - and the head of our party, Toast."

"Your name's Toast?" Tubbo asked.

"Yeah, and yours is Tubbo," Toast said coolly. 

"Fair enough," Tubbo muttered.

Valkyrae laughed delightedly. "I like you," she said - and there it was again, that deep sadness that vanished nearly instantly. 

"Really?" Toast said. "That's a first."

"I'm going to rip your guts out - "

"Rae, Toast, let's not argue," Sykkuno said nervously, looking embarrassed. Tommy was surprised that despite the quietness that the guy used, Rae and Toast both shut up.

"Nice job, Sykkuno," Corpse said fondly, reaching over and clapping the green-feathered man on the back.

Sykkuno reached up and scratched the back of his head, looking nervous; his eyes darting everywhere. "Uh, thanks Corpse."

"Now that we've finished this positively brilliant conversation," Techno said dryly. "Can we please continue the situation at hand?"

Rae dragged back one of the chairs and sat in it, propping her feet up on another chair. "If it's about murder, count me in!" she said cheerfully.

"You'll get to use your claws, don't worry Rae," Toast said with a sigh, sitting down near Rae with far more decorum than his friend. Somehow Tommy got the idea that he was being quite literal with the whole claws thing. Sykkuno and Corpse sat down next to their friends, the latter looking extremely nervous and glancing around every few seconds. 

"Where's Bad?" Skeppy asked.

"Who the hell is Bad?" Corpse asked, brows furrowed as Tommy sat across from Toast, who gave him a scrutinous, curious look before going back to playing with a - was that a throwing knife?

"He's my soulmate," Skeppy said.

"Soulmates exist?" Sykkuno asked quietly.

"Yeah," he spoke up, jabbing a thumb at the shorter boy who sat next to him, phoenix wings curled in on himself. "That's mine. Phoenixes have them. For me, it enables us to have a shared dreamscape that we can communicate in when we're separated."

"Not that they're ever separated," Wilbur muttered, and Rae laughed softly. 

"We haven't used it recently - "

"Except to plan pranks," Finn said as he stalked into the room, his heels clicking on the floor, somehow looking as royal as ever with a gradient of red to yellow cropped sweatshirt and black leather pants.

Toast stared at Finn, eyebrows raised. "You're hot," he said bluntly.

Finn graciously dipped his head. "I'll take that as a compliment." Harvey snickered as he followed Finn into the room, Bad on his heels. "Ay, Phil - Astelic, Zelk, Mega, Spifey are currently dividing up the shifts."

"Nice," Phil said with a small inclination of his head. "No problems?"

"None," Finn said with a cheerful smile as she winked at Toast, who blinked at him.

Rae groaned. "Toast, they're not gonna date you," she said. 

Toast shrugged. "Oh well, worth a try."

Finn sighed. "Sorry, sweetie, but I already have a line a mile long of suitors."

"Stop flirting," Tommy said with a scowl. Finn stuck his tongue out at him. "Also, I told you that dream thing in good faith."

"Oh. Oops."

"Whatever," Wilbur groaned. "The rest of you idiots - this is Toast, Rae, Corpse, and Sykkuno." He pointed them out one by one. "Toast, Rae, Corpse, and Sykkuno, this is the rest of the idiots."

"Finn," Finn said brightly.

"Harvey," Harvey sighed.

"And I'm Bad!" Bad chirped up, sitting down and throwing an arm around Skeppy, who snorted and pushed him away, faking gagging. "Hey! Skeppy!"

"M'tired," Skeppy said. "I don't appreciate your clinginess at such an early hour."

"It's six hours from midnight!"

" Anyway ," Techno said, effectively shutting up the two phoenixes. Sykkuno had a hand over his mouth, and was laughing behind it, and Rae was fighting to keep the grin off her face. He couldn't read Corpse's expression, and Toast just looked neutral - except for the glances he stole at Finn, who was comparing his nails silently with Harvey. "I'm sure you know why you're here. Extinction of the phoenixes and whatnot."

"You know, we could offer you protection better in the Comfy Castle," Sykkuno spoke up. 

"I will not leave my people to die," Phil said firmly. "They are targeting this country, and I will not let them burn."

"Even for the sake of your son and his soulmate?" Toast asked.

"I will try my damndest to make sure everyone comes out of this alive," Phil replied, mostly dodging the question, for which Tommy was glad. 

"Surely you know that's not going to happen," Corpse pointed out.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to give up."

"Why do you call it the Comfy Kingdom?" Tubbo piped up. Phil's eyes went wide. Tommy knew that Tubbo, being a prince, knew of its existence - unlike him, because he'd been kidnapped - but seeing as his soulmate was constantly curious, it was really no surprise at all that he'd asked that.

Toast laughed and leaned forward in his seat. Tommy really wanted to know what was behind those dark menacing glasses. "You're a pretty curious kid."

"A lot of people say that." To his credit, Tubbo didn't back down. 

"I like you," Toast said.

Valkyrae laughed delightedly. "See? Maybe having kids around isn't so bad, Toast."

"Yeah...nevermind," Toast said. "It's called the Comfy Kingdom because before the city and, ultimately, the nation was formed, a group of outlaws used that neutral ground. They were called the Comfy Cartel."

"But they were less of a cartel and more of a mafia," Rae explained. "Anyway, Lily's - that's Queen Lily, by the way - her ancestors were the heads of the cartel. That's how the power passed to her."

"Except, we actually have rules in the kingdom," Sykkuno said. "Luckily, heh."

"Interesting," Tubbo said. 

"That's a fucking terrible name," Tommy pointed out.

" Tommy - " Wilbur started.

"It doesn't need to be a good name," Toast deadpanned. "Everyone knows who we are."

"I didn't," Skeppy, Tommy, and Tubbo said in unison.

"You were kidnapped, you were - well, not here, and you lived basically on the other side of the continent," Toast said. "Plus you can't read." He looked to the right, suddenly, towards the entrance. "DREAM!"

"Ayyyyy!" Dream said as he walked in, his mask plastered firmly onto his face; his blonde hair sticking up slightly. "Toast!"

"You know him?" Phil asked.

"Of course I do, I've played Among Us with him!" Dream said.

"You've played Among Us?" Tommy said, jaw-dropping. 

"You said that was a diplomatic mission!" Tubbo cried out. "You got to play Among Us?"

Dream scoffed. "Of course I did. He invited me and Technoblade, but Techno declined." He scrunched his nose. "He was busy looking for Tommy, then."

"You should have played," Tommy said sadly.

"I had more important things to do than play a killer's game," Techno snorted.

"It's part of our justice system," Rae sighed. "Just because you don't like it doesn't mean you should hate it."

"So...you just killed criminals?" Tubbo said, sounding slightly nervous.

"No," Dream scoffed. "The people sentenced to Among Us are the worst of the worst. Specifically, the time I was invited by my good friend Toast here, they were Fallen."

"Damn, now I regret not coming," Techno said, as Dream sat down next to Toast, who clapped him good-naturedly on the back.

"You still said it was a diplomatic mission," Tubbo muttered. 

"You were eleven," Dream said. "I didn't want to tell my little brother that I was killing people in a game in front of an audience that cheered for their death."

"Where are George and Sapnap?" Finn interrupted.

"Oh, they're with the phoenixes," Dream said. "I think they're afraid of you guys." He pointed to the quartet from the Comfy Kingdom. "I mean, to be fair, they have every right to be."

"Indeed," Toast said. He seemed vaguely amused. 

* * *

And so when the time came that the city was attacked they were ready. When the time came that the alarm sounded in the middle of the night and Technoblade rushed into the room and tossed a bleary Tommy and Tubbo - who had bunk beds; after pressuring Phil to get them some - their swords.

Tommy caught his, covering a yawn.

"Get your armor on," Techno said, and there was no room for argument in his voice. Tubbo stretched, blinking in the darkness; hopping down to the floor with a small flare of his wings. Techno pointed wordlessly to the trunk in the corner of the room and left.

Tommy felt a trickle of fear fill him.

No, he assured himself. My family is here to protect me. My friends are here to protect me. Hell, even strangers are here to protect me.

And then - I don't fucking need protection.

He helped Tubbo adjust the straps around his wings, and then turn around and let Tubbo's shaking hands adjust his own.

"We're gonna be fine, okay?" he murmured as they walked out the door. It was eerily silent in the hallway; the only light the moon filtering in through the odd window, the dim candles on the walls, and their wings. 

"I'm scared, Tommy."

"I know," he said. "So am I."

"Really?"

He smiled at his soulmate. "'Course. I'm not fearless."

"You sure act it."

"And that's all it is," he said. "An act. But you can know that I'm scared, Tubbo. Really scared. If you tell anyone I'm gonna deny that, though."

Tubbo laughed quietly. It was a bout of laughter mixed with nervousness - but it was better than nothing. 

" - the people have been evacuated to the lower caves," Phil was saying as they entered the room. His father's eyes flicked up to them as he was bent over a map of the city, already armored up; his sword at his side. "The only entrance is underneath the front gate."

"How many are there?" Dream asked.

"Too many," Phil said grimly. "Thousands."

"Right," Corpse said, his low voice echoing over the silent dining hall. "And they're here for..." The phoenixes were on one side of the table, their wings glowing - even Skeppy's; albeit dimly. Netherite weapons littered them; though the rest of the party - except Techno - had regular metal. Corpse had an ax, Toast a pair of longswords - Sykkuno a rapier, but he couldn't see a weapon anywhere on Rae's body. Surely she didn't do hand-to-hand combat?

Something glinted on her hands.

Were those...claws? Tommy swallowed as Rae winked at him, clearly seeing his gaze.

"They're here for us," Finn said softly. "Or rather, the key to immortality, in their eyes."

"That's something we can't give them," Wilbur said. "I just hope our enemies stay dead this time."

"I actually have a theory on that," Harvey piped up. Everyone looked at him as he drew his sword, thin as a rapier - yet strong as an obelisk. "This is Netherite," he said. "It's the only thing that can kill phoenixes."

"Why do you keep those weapons out, then?" Sykkuno asked.

"Because of this," Harvey said, and then the sword was aflame, making the four fighters from the Comfy Kingdom take a step back in surprise. "It's greatest weakness...but also our greatest strength."

"And, see, we thought that if they could kill phoenixes," Zelk continued.

" - then maybe they could kill the Fallen," Harvey finished. "I don't know why they came back - or how they came back. But it was through phoenixes - blood, feathers, whatever - and maybe this can kill them."

"Do you have any more?" Rae asked eagerly.

Harvey gave a small shake of his head. "These weapons - twelve of them - are the last of it. That we know of. And while that's good, we thought - if our theory is right, then it's bad. Very bad."

"Twelve?" Toast asked. "There are eleven of you."

Techno drew his sword. "I have the other one," he said. "It's...difficult for a non-phoenix to bear it anyway."

"Why?" Toast asked.

Astelic drew one of her daggers. "Because of this," she said, tossing it in the air. Toast reached out a hand and caught it, and then nearly dropped with it, gaping at the small glittering thing in his palm.

"Holy - is this thing twenty pounds?"

Astelic shrugged as he tossed it back to her, catching it easily and enclosing it in the sheath strapped horizontally at her stomach. "I don't know. To phoenixes, they are light. It is easy to wield for us. Another benefit."

"Damn," Corpse muttered. "That's some crazy magic."

"Right," Phil coughed. "The scouts failed to report in the east of here." He motioned to an expanse of the forest, towards the mountains. "They're coming."

"At least it's an empty city we gotta protect," Tommy heard Skeppy murmur.

"Even so," Phil warned. "Stay with someone. They can, and will, overwhelm you. As for the phoenixes - I doubt they will try to kill you first. I know you tend to act a bit...reckless on account of having multiple lives, but please don't stray from the flock. They will try to capture you, and I don't want that."

"I know," Finn said. "We've...had a conversation about that."

Tommy stared at the ground as his family swung to look at him.

"Tubbo?" George prompted. "What's going on?"

"Don't answer them," he whispered. "They will not agree."

"Agree?" Techno said sharply. "Agree with what?"

"Killing ourselves," Tommy said, wincing at the outcries. "Not with Netherite, preferably." He drew a small dagger - perhaps two inches long - from his sleeve, and watched as the ten others, including Tubbo, did the same. Wicked sharp, and glinting at the tip. "Before they can get to us. If we turn to ash, they cannot capture us."

"That's barbaric," Wilbur whispered, face pale.

"It's the right thing to do," Finn snapped.

"Was this your idea?" Phil said in a low voice as the femboy, who winced under his scrutiny. "To get my son to kill himself, if he has to?"

"No," Tubbo said. "It was mine." He didn't back down as the entire room's gaze swung to him. "And it was a good idea."

"I will not - " Techno started.

"You don't get a say," Tommy snapped, suddenly angry; his wings flaring slightly. "At all, Technoblade. I am not going back to that place. I will _never_ go back to that place. I would rather die. You know that. You all know that." He placed his hands on the table. "If this is what it takes... then so be it."

Wilbur opened his mouth to argue, but Techno put a hand on his forearm. "Surely you can't agree with him?" the brown-haired man said.

"I don't," Techno said. "We'll be there to make sure nothing happens. We fall as one, or none at all."

Phil gave a final nod before stalking to the open window and spreading his wings; falling into the stars. They weren't the only ones - the ten winged ones and the eleven phoenixes - there were people willing to fight; guards and women and men with swords and wings ready to fight the battle - but none of them were them.

Tommy was circling high in the air, Tubbo, and Sapnap at his side, when the first arrow whistled through the air.

And so the avians and the phoenixes went to war.

In hindsight, he should have cherished everything more. 

In hindsight, he should have cherished the world.


	2. Revitalize

The Fallen were like a flock of dark birds as they swooped over the city, nearly two hours after Tommy's friends and family had safely gotten every last non-fighting avarial into the caves of the city below. 

The single entrance was guarded by Sykkuno, Corpse, Harvey, Rae, and fourteen guards. Phil had said that he would have liked more, but the fewer people there, and the more people drawing away the Fallen, the less that the dark-winged birds would be focused on the entrance to the people.

Still, the four would be facing the backup brunt of the attack. Tommy had argued until he and Tubbo were allowed to actually fight; though they had Finn as a babysitter for the time being. He hadn't liked it, but he'd already pushed Phil far enough, by the wrathful look on his father's face when he opened his mouth to debate more.

He'd shut up.

"Damn," Finn muttered under his breath, fixing one of his curls as he hovered in place, his wings flapping to keep him steady as they held their ground over the city. Tommy could see small glowing wings where the other phoenixes were; other avarial with them as they operated their small groups. "There are a lot of them."

"They wouldn't just send a hundred against an entire _city_ ," Tommy snorted. 

"I just don't understand why the Comfy Kingdom didn't send _more_ ," Tubbo complained, his grip on his sword making his knuckles white. 

Finn rolled his eyes. "Tubbo, they sent the four that they did because they were already _out_ and closest to us. They live across the continent. It'll take a couple days for more to arrive, if more even plan on arriving. "

"We're not going to _last_ two days," Tommy snapped.

"Someone has to pick up the pieces should we fall," Finn stated, his voice slightly mournful. "And should Rae, Corpse, Toast, and Sykkuno fall as well, then their kingdom has every right to take them home for burial."

"You really think that we're going to lose?" Tubbo said.

Finn shrugged slightly. "I do not guess like that, Tubbo," he said. "I look at our numbers and I compare them and I make preparations for both outcomes." He tilted his head slightly, moving forward as he tried to peer at the numbers. "Should everyone in this city fall, and the phoenixes remain, then our race will die forever."

"You are prepared for that type of thing?" Tubbo asked, slightly appalled. Tommy was inclined to agree. To prepare for such a thing - to prepare for one's demise sounded horrifying in of itself. 

"I must," Finn said coolly. "I am the historian of our race, Tubbo. So little remains of us, that should we die off, not much will prevail. For the past few days, I have taken extensive notes on everything that I know about us - every single one of our tales, including yours and Tommy's, written down in a single book. There are others, as well. Ones about a phoenix's Fall should they die too much - ones about learning to fly at an older age, from you and Spifey." He nodded at Tommy, who blinked in surprise. "There was so much to write, and so little time."

"Is that why you had us write those introduction notecards with what we liked?" Tommy asked.

"Yes," Finn said. 

"I WROTE THAT I LIKED WOMEN ON THAT CARD!" Tommy screeched loudly, despite the fact that a battle was only _minutes_ away. "YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THAT'S GOING IN THE HISTORY BOOKS?!"

Finn laughed softly. "Yes, Tommy. It shows that phoenixes have feelings too. That's why I didn't tell you. So you could be yourselves."

"I drew bees in the columns," Tubbo muttered, his face slightly red.

"All eleven phoenix's notecards are tied in a stack," Finn said. "Should we fall, that is all that remains of all of us. Our legacy."

"Won't the Fallen just burn it?" Tommy said warily.

Finn shook his head. "The chest is buried in a place that I won't even tell you, in case the Fallen ask after it. Clues are leading up to it, but they are clues only a phoenix can find. One day, a phoenix will be born through whatever bloodline remains, and if we are dead then they will find our secrets."

"You hope," Tommy muttered.

Finn shrugged again. "As I said, I am a very practical person, Tommy," he warned. "I do not hope about this type of thing. I take in the clues and I plan for all outcomes."

Tommy swallowed, wincing slightly as the Fallen grew nearer. "To war, then."

"To war," Finn agreed. "Whether we live or die, this is the end of something. An era, a family - an end nonetheless."

"How comforting," Tubbo muttered.

Tommy drew his sword, the dark metal of the Netherite screeching slightly. "Bet I can get more than you," he said.

"You're _on_ ," Tubbo promised.

Tommy fumbled for the switch within him, and his blade alit in a steady orange flame that licked the Netherite's edges like a long-lost friend. After a moment, Finn's sword lit up as well, and Tubbo's - smaller, with more flickering, but there nonetheless - shot up shortly afterward.

The first rings of battle sounded out, and Tommy tucked in his wings and dove, Finn and Tubbo on either side of him.

_To war._

Then - 

_For my people._

* * *

Tommy jumped as something hit the ground next to him, poofing into ash as it died - but it was not a phoenix, for the feathers it lost were black, and he felt a bit of relief as he looked up at Finn, who had just taken down another Fallen. At his back, Tubbo panted slightly, running his sword through the chest of another Fallen.

Ash rained around them like snow on a winter's day. It stained his blonde hair and covered the streets with a fine layer.

And the bodies. The bodies of the guards that lay around them - dead avarial, dead protecting the city, protecting _him_.

For they were here for him. For him and the phoenixes, and they had died because of _him_. He swallowed dryly, only barely hearing Tubbo's warning cry as he turned and cut the throat of another Fallen. 

This was his fault. 

"HEAD IN THE GAME, TOMMY!" Finn shouted as he soared past, and Tommy shook his head, relieving it of their stupid thoughts, and went back to mindlessly killing.

There were so many. He, Finn, and Tubbo were doing their best to hold a district, but he was just so distracted wondering if his family were dead - if any of the phoenixes had been hit with netherite. 

Someone lands in a _whoosh_ of feathers and Tommy spun, nearly chopping Spifey's head off with his sword.

"We need your help," Spifey said, not blinking an eye.

"What? Why?" he demanded, watching as Finn kicked someone in the gut and then threw one of his knives at the Fallen, effectively disintegrating it. 

"Everyone else is near the outer walls," Spifey explains. Tommy tilted his head - that made sense; that was where the brunt of the fight was, and where he had been specifically _not_ allowed. His group only caught the stragglers. "And I think this group can afford to lose someone for a little bit."

"We're good!" Finn shouted in agreement, landing abruptly and going back-to-back with Tubbo, giving the smaller boy a bit of a break. 

He hesitated, and Spifey gave him a look before taking to the sky.

"GO!" Tubbo shouted, and Tommy blinked at him before spreading his wings and taking to the air, powerful pumps of his wings getting him airborne quickly.

"What is it?" he asked Spifey as the phoenix wheeled towards the center of the city.

"A group broke off from the main one and was able to overwhelm one of the districts," Spifey said.

Tommy sucked in a breath. "Who?"

"Zelk and Mega," Spifey said. "Not netherite. They'll live." He coughed. "Sort of."

"You can't expect me to guard an entire district," Tommy said skeptically. "I mean, I'm great and all, but even I have my limits."

Spifey laughed shortly. "No, we received reinforcements in the forms of George and Astelic," he said. 

"So what's the issue?"

"Before George, Astelic, and their group of guards could come back, about a hundred or so Fallen broke through," Spifey said. "They headed towards the entrance of the caves. Sykkuno was badly injured, and the other three are desperately trying to hold them off. I received word from Techno that our job is to get rid of the infestation so that they can tend to their wounded."

"They weren't supposed to get there this quickly," Tommy murmured.

"I know," Spifey said darkly. "This does not bode well for us." He pointed at the entrance of a marble building, which Tommy knew led to the mine where the people of the city had been evacuated to. "Look! There!"

Tommy squinted at the white and black building, tucking in his wings and diving towards it. There were about half of the Fallen left - forty or fifty or so - and dust and ash covered everything. It made Tommy slightly sick; the thought that these Fallen would come back after they killed them. Not like phoenixes - not natural, a _stolen_ power that he wanted back in the hands of those that would not abuse it like _this_.

Three people stood on the steps of the stairs, two fighting and one clutching a man to his chest. He recognized the fallen one - Sykkuno - and the one picking him up and dragging him back as Corpse. Harvey was a whirl of bright feathers and fires as he attempted to hold them off, but even he faltered and, step by step, fell back. 

The girl, Rae, whom Tommy had thought to not bear a weapon at all, was a whirling circle of absolute death. Her hands had silver cones at the end of them, dripping in red liquid that had to be blood. He swallowed nervously just staring at her, as even as he watched, she scratched three deep marks up the chest of a surprised-looking Fallen, who turned to dust. He saw the grin on her face that managed to rival even Technoblade.

He landed next to her, and Spifey on Harvey's side.

"Nice of you to join the party!" she said with a crazed laugh.

"It's a nice party to join," he retorted, slashing his sword and ducking under a swing. "Is Sykkuno okay?"

Rae didn't blink. "Yeah, he's fine. Corpse got him. Thanks for coming!"

"It's no problem," he said distractedly, glancing at Corpse, who had put Sykkuno down. The green-scarfed man was blinking wearily, putting a hand to his head; where blood came away at his touch. Corpse slapped his hand away, and Tommy smiled slightly at the soft relationship between the two. Corpse obviously cared a lot about his friend, and Sykkuno frowned at the now-maskless man as he fussed over him. 

"She's crazy, Tommy," Harvey bemoaned, switching places with Rae as she slashed the throat of one of the Fallen. Tommy was glad to see that none of them had Netherite steel; though the metal still freaked him out sometimes. His own sword flickered with the occasional burst of fire, but that was mostly to scare the Fallen.

He didn't know why Techno and Phil had been so nervous for him. These guys weren't that good - not after the training he'd received from a disciple of the Blood God himself. 

Speaking of which...

"Hey, Valkyrae," he said.

"Call me Rae," she said, kicking one in the chest to get them to back off and flipping them the middle...metal claw thing she had on. 

"Do you know the Blood God?" he asked.

She smirked at him. "Sure do. I was blessed by him, just like your brother."

"Techno was..." he trailed off. It made sense, really. He swung his sword and clipped a dark feather off the wing of one of the Fallen, who swore at him before Tommy stabbed him with the Netherite sword, a sick sense of satisfaction filling him as he watched the ash of the Fallen join the piles already littering the ground. 

"Of course he was," Rae said brightly, as if she hadn't just clawed out someone's throat. Her teeth are white in her grin; her hair braided. "I was there at the temple when it happened. He's never talked about it?"

"I...no," Tommy said distractedly, as Harvey saved his preoccupied ass by slashing someone across the throat. He inclined his head in thanks, and took a small step back as Corpse rejoined the midst to his right, taking some of the pressure off him.

"It was to find you, actually," Rae said. "He wanted it, and so the Blood God answered." She shrugged. "There are very, very few of us. Many people work at the temple to get his blessing for years and years - but Techno and I gained his blessing by simply walking into the temple." She titled her head. "Well, actually, I was there for three weeks. I came back to visit the temple to ask if anyone else had been blessed with His power, and I came in time to see Technoblade take a step into the temple and get blessed himself."

"That's so cool," Tommy breathed out.

"It is," Rae agreed. 

"Why did you get blessed?" he asked.

"My sister was kidnapped," she said.

"Oh," Tommy whispered.

"She died," Rae said bluntly. Tommy winced. "I was actually blessed after she passed away. I threw my entire life into fighting, but I didn't want _anything_ to do with swords or knives...He gave me these." She spun and slashed someone's wing, bringing a howl of pain before she put the Fallen out of her misery. 

Harvey let out a yell of triumph as the final Fallen was conquered, leaving the four of them panting in a circle of ash and feathers.

"She was three years old," Rae said, softly. "Kidnapped by the Fallen."

Tommy's brow rose in surprise.

"I think she was a phoenix," the girl continued, looking sad instead of crazy, for once - a sad angel among the raining ash. "I...it's something that ran in our family a long time ago." She shuffled her red feathers, plucking out a loose feather. "I'm not one, but I think _she_ was. And they killed her."

"Are you sure?" he prodded. "I mean, my family thought I was dead, so..."

"She never gained her wings," Rae said. "So no. I held her while she died, and I was too late to save her as she turned to ash in my arms." She turned to face Tommy. "I swore I would never be too late to save a phoenix again."

"Thank you," he said. "For your help."

"You are very welcome," Rae said in a near-whisper, her eyes distant.

Tommy opened his mouth to ask her more, or perhaps give his condolences when a flash of fear _spouted_ from the golden tattoo on his arm. He spun, wings instantly spread. "TUBBO!"

"What - " Rae started, but Tommy had already taken off.

He had never flown this fast in his entire life. 

He should never have left.

He should have been there to protect his soulmate, he should have _done something_ \- 

Finn was gone.

He knew because the ash that covered the floor wasn't the dark ash of the Fallen. He knew because of the primary feathers that littered the street where he had _left_ them - primary feathers that were too large to be his or Tubbo's or _anyone's_ but Spifey's or Finn's, and Spifey wasn't _here_ \- 

The ash that littered the ground was a light grey, almost white.

A sharp pain filled his chest as he swooped over it, praying that whatever weapon had been used to take Finn down hadn't been Netherite.

That Finn, like Skeppy, would see Death for the first time and come back. That Finn _wasn't dead_ , with his nails and his gracious smile and his breaking of gender stereotypes. 

He heard Tubbo scream, and his thoughts were wiped of the historian phoenix. There was nothing he could do for Finn now - there was something he could do for Tubbo.

He turned the corner of the alleyway and saw Tubbo on his knees, his eyes slightly glazed, something being attached around his wrist. Anger and rage and _hatred_ swelled within in him.

He came in, sword swinging, but these weren't _like_ the other Fallen - and to his absolute horror, he saw they bore netherite swords that clashed against his own with ease.

Finn.

 _Finn_.

Tommy grit his teeth and parried, planting his feet and kicking up with his knee, forcing the Fallen to choke as he kicked him directly where it _hurt_. Another rushed at him, and he ducked under the swing, stabbing the first in the chest with hardly a passing glance, his rage barely quenched by the death.

He turned in time to grunt in pain as a welling of blood appeared on his hand from the dark metal, his sword spinning out of his grip and clattering to the ashy floor of the alleyway. A single red feather fell from his wings, bright amongst the contrasting greyscale. 

Tommy drew the dagger Finn had handed him earlier in a quick motion, prepared to jump in and save his nearly-unconscious soulmate. His soulmate, who had something that looked eerily like _netherite_ wrapped around his wrist. His soulmate, who was held by two Fallen, one of which had a sword to his throat - 

"Stop," one of them ordered quietly - the one that had the netherite blade to Tubbo's throat. 

Tommy froze, fear filling him before he pushed it down and replaced the alarm on his face with a smirk. 

"Come with us, and nobody gets hurt," the Fallen demanded.

"Why do I not believe you?" he snarled. 

The Fallen smirked. "You're smarter than you look."

"You're not," he shot back. "Kill him, and you hold _nothing_ over me. There is nothing that will stop you from killing me."

The Fallen shook his head. "No, but I _will_ kill him before he dies." He tilted his head, dark eyes making Tommy queasy. He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "You think I don't know who you are, Thomas? _What_ you are?" Tommy shivered as the Fallen ran his greedy eyes over his outstretched wings. "You think I don't know who _this_ is to you? I know what this blade does to phoenixes." He raised his chin. "I know what my ancestors did to yours."

"You're sick," Tommy spat.

"Run," Tubbo choked out suddenly, and Tommy's eyes flew to his. " _Run_ , Tommy. Don't let them take you, _please_ \- "

"Drop your weapon," the Fallen hissed. " _Now_ . You know I'll kill him, Tommy. You'll kill us afterward, sure, but we've beaten that setback. Netherite doesn't kill us. We've _beaten_ that, unlike _you_ and your pitiful feathered friends. We've solved the case of that."

 _Nobody is coming_.

Tommy met the brown eyes of his soulmate, and there was utter hopelessness there - and pleading. Tubbo wanted him to save himself. To _go_ . To let his soulmate be taken to die again and again under the sick satisfaction of the Fallen. To _feel_ him be tortured while he could do _nothing_.

"We will come back, and he will not," the Fallen said. "I'll kill him. You know I will. Drop the weapon, _Tommy_."

"Don't do it!" Tubbo said, and choked as the Fallen hissed and a thin line appeared across his throat, welling with blood. 

Tommy felt a tear fall down his blood-streaked face, and he relinquished his hold on the dagger slightly.

"Good," the Fallen purred. "All the way now, Tommy."

His eyes flashed, and he drew back his hand and he threw the tiny sliver of sharp steel that Finn had given him in hopes that it would save him from this very fate, suicide or not. 

The Fallen directly to his left cried out, and pain blossomed in his side as the Netherite sword buried itself in his chest - an act, a reaction, a retaliation for his misbehavior. He screamed in pain, his vision flashing as he felt the warm wetness slide from him. His knees hit the ground, and then his palms - but he looked up in his weary state and he saw the dagger buried exactly where he'd wanted it to be.

Right in Tubbo's heart.

 _I'm sorry_ , he mouthed, and Tubbo's eyes were not one full of pain - but fear. Fear for _him_.

_I'm sorry._

Tubbo burst to ash - light, nearly-white; orange and yellow and red feathers - _his soulmate_ \- he'd killed him - and the Fallen cursed as he grasped for something that was no longer there.

Tommy collapsed, knowing in his heart that it was netherite that had struck him, and that if he died - he would not come back. He did not have the strength to rise as three pairs of boots came into his blurry vision.

"At least we have you."

_Be free, Tubbo._

His last coherent thought vanished as he faded into unconsciousness.

* * *

"It'll be okay, Techno," Wilbur murmured nearly eight hours later as he paced in the dining hall, looking at the pale and weary faces that lined it. 

So few. So few sat there.

Phil, Wilbur, Techno - Rae, Corpse. Toast and Sykkuno were in the medbay. Dream sat on the windowsill. Waiting for his brother to stumble in, pale as death from his rebirth. Sapnap and George were, for once, silent. 

Harvey, without his usual optimism and cheer. Mega, tight-lipped. Zelk, shaking. 

The rest were gone. 

And none of them had any clue if they would come back. Skeppy, Bad. Astelic. Finn. Spifey. Vurb. 

And the one that he refused to think about.

His little brother.

Who he couldn't protect - whom he had lost again.

The doors burst open, and they stood on their feet. Techno drew his sword, but it was only Spifey that stumbled in, looking pale and blinking his green eyes rapidly as he tried to get his bearings.

"Did we win?" he rasped. "Or did we all die?"

"No," Harvey said, with a huge breath of relief as he bounded up and hugged the man, whose wings, Techno noted with a keen eye, were slightly darker than normal. "We secured the city. The Fallen...well, fell back."

"That's a poor joke, Harvey," Vurb snorted as he limped in after Spifey. 

"Hospital wing," Phil said instantly.

Vurb waved him off. "It's just a flesh wound."

"One you retained after death," Phil said sharply. "Netherite?"

Vurb sighed, running a hand through his unruly hair. "Yes." He glanced around the hall at the solemn faces. "Where is everyone?"

"We don't know," Techno said bluntly, only wincing a little at the winces on Spifey and Vurb's faces. 

"Dead? Or - or _dead_?" Spifey choked out.

"You two are the first," Zelk said solemnly. "We hope there are more."

Phil clicked his tongue. "Nevertheless. You two just went through an ordeal." He gave a sad smile. "Hospital wing. Now."

"Yes, Phil," the two chirped, though Vurb hesitated at the doorway before Spifey took his arm and helped him limp down the hall.

Wilbur put an arm around Techno. "Do not worry," he murmured. "They will come."

Techno threw his brother's arm off his shoulder and resumed his pacing. Dream was silent, watching the path for more phoenixes.

They came. They came, pale and shaking. Next was Astelic, whom Mega helped because she had an awful slash across her face and her hair was shorn to shoulder length on one side - Techno felt a pang at that, she was barely older than Tommy. She disappeared down the hall, and Techno watched them go, silently, before resuming his pacing.

_Tick. Tock._

The clock was so _loud_ in his ears as he waited. 

Next were Skeppy and Bad, and there were cries of joy from Sapnap and George. Dream remained at the balcony, and Bad put out his hand to hug him before Skeppy dragged him back, shaking his head slowly. 

Death.

Techno could not imagine it.

Rae twirled one of Corpse's knives in her hand, staring blank-faced at the bread that someone - he could not remember - had placed in front of her. It was odd, seeing another with the blessing of his Blood God. She certainly used her powers well. He had to wryly admit that she was deserving of it as well. 

To die - to live again. Astelic was only _seventeen_. To bear permanent scars to such a degree like that - was immortality, to that extent, more of a blessing, or a curse?

He was an avarial. He had one life. For all his blessings, all his boastings, he had but _one_ life. The phoenixes had many. Nearly infinite, given they did not die too much in quick succession or weren't killed by netherite.

He had seen some of the Fallen with netherite, but he couldn't go back and check on Tommy, lest more lives be lost and the outer walls fall.

He wondered if Tommy had ever gotten tired of it. 

Thirty minutes to twelve hours after the battles' end, Finn burst in.

"They got him," he choked out.

"What?" Techno snarled.

Finn blinked at him, cringing slightly, and Techno had to draw back his aura. It wasn't Finn's fault, he reminded himself. 

"Tubbo," Finn breathed out. "I - I couldn't get to him in time, and they grabbed him - "

"WHAT?" Dream roared, stalking over. "YOU LET THEM TAKE HIM?"

"I didn't!" Finn said, not even trying to defend himself as Dream stalked over and grabbed the front of his shirt, his mask, like Corpse's, long discarded, and his green eyes full of wrath. 

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HIM!"

"They _killed_ me, Dream!" Finn said, and Techno realized he was crying. 

"Dream, _stop_ ," Phil demanded heavily, and George dragged his friend off Finn, who was shaking slightly as he blinked away the tears. "We all thought they would be safe in the inner quadrants." He turned to Finn. "What happened?" he demanded urgently.

"Tommy went with Spifey to protect the inner walls," Finn said. Techno snorted sharply. Rae had already _told_ him that. Finn saw his glare and sped up. "He - I didn't live to see him come back."

"He shouted and left," Rae said, sounding slightly bored as she spun the dagger in her hand.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING?" Techno bellowed.

Rae stood up in a cloud of anger. Corpse stood up as well, but his dark eyes were wary and full of warning. "What would you have me do, Technoblade? I was protecting the entrance to the caves! To the _thousands_ of people! Your brother ran off, and I couldn't follow him!"

"Maybe you should have," he muttered.

Rae threw the dagger to the ground. It stuck there, between the stones, quivering slightly. "I _wanted_ to, Techno," she breathed out. "You don't know how much it hurt wondering why he flew away in a whirl of feathers like that. It was like watching my sister leave all over again." Corpse made a noise of discontent, and Techno narrowed his eyes. 

Rae had a sister?

"But I couldn't," she said solemnly. " _We_ couldn't. Death is lighter than a feather, but duty is heavier than a mountain."

Finn laughed sharply. "I can tell you that death certainly isn't lighter than a feather," he choked out. "It's...empty. Warm, but cold..." he trailed off, muttering something under his breath.

When it became clear that Finn wasn't taking questions, or that he was going to continue, Rae went on. "I did what I did," she said. "And I regret it so much, because Tommy is missing, and Tubbo too. And if what Finn is saying is true, that the Fallen took him, then I am _sorry_."

"But you wouldn't change your choice," he said.

She shook her head. "No. They nearly overwhelmed us with a second wave after Tommy left. Without me - without even _one_ of us, we would have crumbled and the city dead. Maybe Tommy would be here, but there would be thousands of lives lost. Things plundered and stolen. No, Technoblade, I would not change my choice, even if it were to see Tommy alive."

He glared at her, but she raised an eyebrow and he relented, shoulders dropping. He could not really blame her for that choice - she did not know. And she was right - thousands would have died had she followed him to wherever she was now. 

"I am sorry," Finn choked out. "I could not save him."

"If you're talking about _me_ , I'm right here."

Techno spun to see Tubbo standing there, and Dream let out a cry of joy as he sprinted and caught his little brother in a hug, squeezing him in a position that _had_ to be uncomfortable with his wings. Tubbo did not huge back, did not even reach around to touch Dream, and Techno frowned at the dark bracelet that covered his wrist.

"Tubbo?" Dream prompted, stepping back. "Are you okay?"

"Tommy," Tubbo murmured, locking eyes with Techno, whose heart _dropped_.

"Please tell me he's not dead," Phil breathed out sharply. The entire hall seemed to hold its breath, waiting for the youngest's answer.

Tubbo burst into sobs. "I _don't know_!" he said. "He killed me!"

"...what?" Dream asked.

Finn moved forward, putting a hand out and touching Tubbo's shoulder. Both their wings flashed in greeting before fading back to their dullness. "The knife?"

"The knife," Tubbo said miserably. "They were gonna get me, and he used that stupid knife."

"Excuse me," Techno cut in coldly. "Would someone please explain what's going on? And where _Tommy_ is?"

Tubbo shrank. "I don't know," he said again.

"Is he alive?" Wilbur prompted.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Tubbo shrieked, fire flashing in his eyes before going out. Tubbo squeezed his eyes shut, and tears overflowed down his cheeks. "He threw the knife at me to _save_ me - "

"He killed you?" Dream said sharply.

Tubbo nodded. Finn made a small trilling noise that Techno didn't recognize, but it seemed to calm the small boy, who relaxed slightly. "I gave them a knife," the historian said after a moment. He pointed to Zelk, who withdrew a small, maybe three-inch blade, thin as his pinky finger - but wicked sharp and made of solid steel. "Just in case."

"Just in case _what_?" Phil demanded.

"Just in case they were captured," Finn said miserably. "As a final try. A final doorway out."

"YOU GAVE MY SON A KNIFE TO KILL HIMSELF?" Phil roared, and Techno took a step back. _There_ was the king - there was his father, whose wings were spread wide and staring down with horrible wrath.

_Hadn't they had this conversation below the battle?_

Phil hadn't taken it seriously, it seemed.

"YES!" Finn shouted. "AND IT SAVED TUBBO!"

Phil seemed surprised by the retaliation - usually, people were too busy cowering from his aura, Techno thought with a weird sort of smile. 

"Don't you tell me that it was a bad idea," Finn said harshly. "They all agreed to it. It was Tubbo's idea, actually. We _talked_ about this before the battle, Phil."

"It didn't seem real, then," Wilbur murmured, his face white with what looked like a mixture of awe and pain. 

"It was very real," Tubbo said. "They were going to kill me, they told Tommy to put his weapon down, but he didn't - "

"That's my boy," Phil said with a choked sort of horror.

" - and he threw the knife at me and was stabbed by the other Fallen," Tubbo finished. He took a deep breath and let it out. "With netherite."

" _Did you see him turn to ash?_ " Techno demanded with a growl.

Tubbo cringed slightly, and Techno had to remind himself that this was _not_ Tubbo's fault. That nobody in the room was to blame, as easy as throwing around guilt was. 

"No," Tubbo breathed out. "I died before that. But I saw him collapse. That is all."

"Don't you know?" Zelk piped up. "Because of your soulmate bond?"

"Yes!" Wilbur cried out. "He's alive, right?"

Reluctantly, Tubbo raised his wrist to show the barbaric piece of netherite wrapped around his wrist. "No," he said. "I do not know."

"That's _barbaric_ ," Finn breathed out, reaching out and grabbing it. It danced with small flames, but did not come off.

"Get it off," Tubbo said suddenly. "Get it off."

Finn gritted his teeth and tugged on it slightly. It didn't give.

" _Get it off_ ," Tubbo said, more desperately than before. His hands dug into his wrist, drawing crescent-shaped half-moons of blood. 

"Hey, Tubbo," Dream said soothingly.

"GET IT OFF!" Tubbo screamed, and Techno took a step back as fire flared up around him. Zelk jumped to his feet, and the fire receded as the other phoenix concentrated on putting it out. "TOMMY!"

Techno exhaled sharply.

"TOMMY!"

Not again. Not _again_.

He was supposed to protect his little brother. He was supposed to _be_ there. He was supposed to keep this from happening again.

Tubbo struggled in Dream's grip, his eyes wild and frenzied, his wings thrashing without a care for his well-being.

"TOMMY!"

Desperate. Wanting. 

Not again. 

Not _again_. 

"Get it off, Finn!" Dream howled.

"I can't!" Finn shouted over the din. "My powers are exhausted from rebirth, and even if they weren't - I'm not strong enough to remove netherite!"

"GET! IT! OFF!" Tubbo shrieked.

Techno only stood there helplessly as he was forced to watch his brother's soulmate go positively psycho. _Not again_ , he thought, for perhaps the hundredth time.

It was almost worst than last time. Last time he had thought Tommy dead. Now, he didn't even know. Now he clung to the strand of hope that told him of the _possibilities_.

Someone's hand gripped his, and he looked over and saw Wilbur standing there, pale and shaky, brown eyes filled with water.

"TOMMY!"

Finn murmured something to the thrashing boy, but it did nothing as his family tried to calm him down.

Techno fell to his knees, pulling Wilbur to the ground with him.

He had failed. Failed to protect his brother in his own _home_. 

_"TOMMY!"_

He had failed.

* * *

He had forgotten the darkness.

The utter defeat he felt. The despair that curled within every bone of his body.

He had not died in that alley, from the netherite blade buried in his gut. Part of him had hoped that his life had ended there - that it would not come to _this_ , not again.

Part of him had hoped that he would never be back here again.

But his luck was absolute dogshit.

And so here he was again. 

Lost in his own mind, lost in his own _head_ , colors, and whirls of fire and pain. Lost, in a place that he should have never been. Lost, in a world of heartache and primary _loss_.

He felt it, then. Among the pain. Among the grasping reach of Death itself - he stubbornly pushed _that_ away, he wasn't ready, not yet - a pathway, in the darkness.

A golden sunset. A bench, a pathway. A safe place, for now.

A soulmate, waiting for him.

He left the pain behind and he entered that dream.

"Tommy!"

He let out a shaky breath and nearly collapsed, tears entering his eyes and running down his face. Every step he took was a shaky one, the remnants of pain arcing through his aching limbs as he sat down on the warm wood, lit with the glow of the setting sun.

Fake. This was all fake.

A dream.

"Tommy?"

That hesitant voice. A hand on his feathers, soothing the ruffled ones. He shivered; though his feathers weren't dry. Weren't missing. Weren't drenched in blood - _his_ blood, blood taken from him carelessly - because they _did not care_ , not about him. Only what he brought.

Immortality.

He had brought them trouble, and he would pay. Another set of tears slid down his face at the thought.

Finally, _finally_ , he turned on that bench to face the boy who sat next to him. Brown eyes, chocolate hair. Pale, freckles. Smaller, narrower wings of brightened colors. 

"Tubbo," he breathed out. 

His soulmate lifted up his hand, and Tommy realized there was a ring of metal around his wrist - one that covered two small golden discs. He breathed out sharply. Tubbo hadn't known he still breathed. 

And yet -

"You're alive," Tubbo said simply.

Tommy laughed. It was rough and dark and made his soulmate wince with pain as Tommy brought his knees to his chest and his darkening feathers around his body, creating a slight cacoon. "Am I?" he asked helplessly. "Are you really here?"

"Of course I am," Tubbo said resolutely. He placed a hand on top of Tommy's. It was warm, compared to his coolness. "You're cold."

"It's dark," he murmured, staring at the sun - something he knew he would never see again. Even if this was fake - even if this was a _dream_ between two soulmates, it felt so real. "It's so dark there, Tubbo."

"Do you know where you are?" his soulmate asked urgently.

He shook his head. Once. Twice. Jerkily. There was something in his throat - a lump, he did not know. Did not much care.

There was so much here that he would never see again. There were the wind and the air itself - not damp, not unpleasant in his nostrils - the brightness of the sun, the white peaks of the mountains in the distance.

He wished this place existed in reality.

He wished this wasn't just in his head, and he did not lie dying, for the fifteenth time, on a table beneath a white light with the Fallen around him. 

He wished, but it was never meant to be. Wouldn't ever be.

He would die there, he realized. He would die there, and he would die alone, and Tubbo wouldn't know - because netherite was netherite, and even in the dream, it stayed with him. 

"Your brothers - my brothers - they are coming to find you," Tubbo said. "We - we'll get you out of there."

"No you won't," he said. Simple. To the point.

_Truth._

"Yes, they _will_ ," Tubbo said, with finality.

Tommy doesn't have the energy to argue with his soulmate. He knew the truth - the _real_ truth, plain and simple and true. He wouldn't lie there for eight years - they would take what they needed and kill him. 

So they could get back at his family.

So they could get back at him.

So that what had come to pass a year ago would never happen again. There was no cell, no rest for him. No marks on the wall with white chalk. No leniency, no care for his health.

Death sang to him, and he heard its call. Heard its call - a familiar tune, like the waves of the sea, or the laughter of his soulmate, or the sounds of the bustling castle below his window in the mornings. Familiar, familial - homely. Like a siren calling him with a soft tone that he could hear in the back of his ears, it _ached_.

A hand gripped his elbow, and Tommy turned, his face drawn and tired as he stared down at his soulmate.

"You will come home," Tubbo said fiercely, fire flashing in his eyes. In this place, it was easy to think. Easy to pretend that Tubbo was telling the truth, that Technoblade and Philza and Dream would find him. And everything would be fine.

Dimly, he knew that a part of him was changed forever down there. Maybe the first time, he could heal with a scar. Maybe the first time, only cracks had shown on the jar labeled, dutifully, _Tommy_.

He had tasted freedom and reveled in its purity. He had smelled the air of liberation and not cast a second glance in its past.

Cracks could be fixed. Fissures could be closed.

But he - he was _broken_ . Shattered. Down to the deepest crevice of his heart. Before - before had been easier. Before, they had given him a break, and he had been a _child_ \- he did not remember the air in his primary feathers as he flew. He had not remembered the taste of Niki's cake on his lips as he stole them from the kitchens. He had not remembered curling up in an armchair across from his oldest brother and listening to him drone on about history. He had not remembered, much, the strums of the instruments of his middle brother. He had not remembered the hilarity of his father or the hands that combed through his feathers after a hard day of flying.

He did now.

There was more to miss now.

There was more to lose.

And he - he had lost it all. He had gained so much, and lost it all.

A blink of an eye. A snap of a finger. The buzz of a bee. The flipping of a single page of a book. The strum of a single note on a guitar.

The short period - less than a _year_ , in the seventeen years he'd lived. Less than a year, he'd been free. Less than a year he had spent galavanting around.

Even towards the end of the short stretch - the arrival of those in the Comfy Kingdom; the war itself - he had thought that he would either die or he would triumph above everyone else.

He had never been so wrong.

He laughed dryly and put his head in his hands. "Oh, Tubbo," he murmured. "You don't know how wrong you are." His hands shook slightly as he got to his feet, putting out a hand to the fence that lined the cliff. "This won't end in anything but death."

"Stop saying that," Tubbo said sharply. "You've done this once before, Tommy. You'll do it again."

Tommy squeezed his eyes shut, basking - for a moment, just a _moment_ \- in the warmth of the sun. Fake, so _fake_ , but real - just for a moment. "It's different, now," he managed. "They don't care about my health or what happens to me."

Tubbo let out a shaky breath next to him, and joined him at the edge of the fenceline, staring at the setting sun. "How many times?" he asked.

"Fifteen, I think," Tommy murmured. "The call gets louder now that I'm older."

"Resist it," Tubbo said.

"That's not how the world works," Tommy said. "That's like telling an avarial to live like a phoenix. Sentences - statements like that - don't work. Won't ever work."

"I can't lose you, Tommy," Tubbo said, and Tommy tilted his head to the side, staring into the teary, pleading eyes of his soulmate. "Not again. Not for real. I've already lost you once."

"I don't want to be lost either," he said with a small smile. "I don't think anyone wants to be lost."

"Can't we stay here forever?" his soulmate whispered. "Staring at the sunset?"

"This isn't the real world," Tommy said with a mournful laugh. "You have to wake up, Tubbo."

"Right," Tubbo said with a nod. "Gotta tell Technoblade and Dream that you're alive so they - so they can search."

"No," Tommy said. "You won't find me in time. I'm far away."

"Then tell us where you are!"

"I don't know," he said.

"How do you know you're far away?" Tubbo said stubbornly, the wood creaking beneath his white-knuckled hands.

"Because I can feel the heartbeat of the stone," he murmured. "Because I can hear the whispers of our ancestors here."

"That doesn't make any _sense_ , Tommy - "

"Close," he said, but the words weren't his own, not really. "Close to the ancient home of the phoenixes." He smiled, but it wasn't wide and happy. "That's where I am. Close to home. Close to going home."

When he blinked, the sunset was gone, and the pain was back.

* * *

Tubbo woke up with a sharp gasp, glancing hurriedly at the early morning sun as he vaulted out of bed, feathers rumpled and lost tears falling down his face. He didn't even bother to change out of his bedclothes as he tore down the halls of the castle he had come to call home, darting around people that carried things up and down the hallways. 

He tore into the dining hall with a loud bang, wild and crazed, and saw Techno half draw his sword at the loud noise before relaxing. Both the pink-haired man and Tubbo's older brother were decked out for flight, as were a few of the phoenixes and George and Sapnap and Philza.

"You're supposed to be sleeping," Dream said with a worried frown, his green eyes twinkling with concern. He had lost his mask in the battle - and hadn't deigned to replace it, keeping his face open. Tubbo much preferred him like that. 

"Tommy," he gasped out, catching his breath. "He's alive."

Wilbur let out a small noise of relief as he stumbled into one of the chairs, Harvey catching the much taller man so he didn't fall over. 

"How do you know?" Technoblade demanded.

"Dreamt," Tubbo explained.

"Where is he?" Phil asked, kinder than his son, but face still full of held-back rage and hatred for the dark feathered beings that had taken his son not once - but twice.

"I don't - he doesn't know," Tubbo said sadly, and his soulmate's father made a pained sound, his purple feathers ruffling up slowly. "But - " he cast a glance at Finn, who stood evenly, his dark brown hair pulled into a braid and his netherite sword at his waist. "He says he can feel the stone talking to him."

"Great, he's finally lost it," Zelk muttered.

"No, like he says he can here - well, phoenixes," Tubbo said. "Yeah, he wasn't himself when he said that, and _that_ sort of hurt, but, like - " He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to contain his rambling. " - he said he's near the ancient home of the phoenixes."

All eyes turned to Finn, who held up his hands.

"I have four books on phoenixes, maximum," Finn said. "I looked at a world map for the first time six months ago. Trust me, the phoenixes are damn good at hiding their trails." He snorted. "But...it does exist."

"So Tommy wasn't crazy?" Tubbo said hopefully. 

Finn shook his head slowly. "Nah. As I said, phoenixes are very good at hiding their trail."

"Why didn't you say this place existed sooner?" Bad asked curiously.

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE!" Tubbo shouted. The hall fell into silence as his brother looked at him carefully, frowning. "Tommy is dying."

"He _what_?!"

Tubbo couldn't quite tell who said that - there were about five shouted voices mixed into that mess. 

"Woah, woah, _calm down_!" Phil snapped. He nodded at Tubbo - jerkily, to hide the growing fear. "Tubbo, please explain."

"He didn't _say_ ," Tubbo said. "But...but I could tell. He said he could hear the call of Death, and when I told him to tell it to fuck off, he laughed and said that that wasn't how the world worked."

"That doesn't sound like Tommy," Technoblade muttered.

"No," Tubbo said, with grim finality. "No, it doesn't." He looked at Dream. "I'm coming with you to search."

"I am not losing my little brother again," Dream said coolly.

"It's _my_ soulmate that's missing," Tubbo protested. "My friend."

Dream opened his mouth to argue, but Finn's voice stopped him. "You cannot stop him," the historian phoenix said. "He will go, alone or with you." Dream snapped his mouth shut, glaring angrily at the arched ceiling. "And besides, you need a phoenix anyway."

"Why?" Techno asked.

"Why," Finn said with a vicious grin. "Like Tommy said - to sense the ancient home of the phoenixes."

"Why _him_?" Dream said. "Why not anybody else?"

"It is his soulmate," Finn said. "You could not stop him even if he knew that there was a large chance he would die. I doubt you could stop him even if he knew he would probably die." Tubbo frowned, but didn't dissuade Finn's words. "He is your little brother, Dream, but he is best protected at your side. Not here. Not when the Fallen could come back any day at any second. Tommy - Tommy proved that."

"If we are not safe in our home, then where _are_ we safe?" Astelic demanded, still looking exhausted from her rebirth. 

"There is not a place that we will be," Technoblade declared grimly. "Not until every last piece of the Fallen is destroyed, down to every feather, every greasy rebirth that they make." Most in the hall looked shaken by his words. "Get your stuff," he snapped at Tubbo. "We leave in ten minutes."

"And, Finn," Phil said. Finn looked up at him. "Use everything you need to to try to pinpoint the location on the map. We're just flying and praying that we find something. Anything."

That was the tone of a desperate father.

Tubbo saw Finn bite back the cautious words of chances and percentages and time. 

"Okay," Finn said, though there was a degree of hopelessness in his voice. 

"Good luck," George said.

Tubbo turned and sprinted towards the armory even as Finn started calling for maps and compasses and historical books.

* * *

He did not follow the dreaming soulbond to that place again. He did not want to see Tubbo's face again, to look him in the eyes and speak of death and unknown morality. He felt its call, and it put him on that split in the road - and every time, he went the other day.

He did not want to feel the heat of the sun on his face when he knew that it would be temporary.

That it _was_ , already, a false dream based on memories of a place that did not exist.

That one day, Tubbo would wander that world alone, and he but a memory in the minds of those that loved him. That one day - one day _soon_ \- he would be naught but a lost treasure to search for over sands of time. 

That was not the only solicitation that plagued him.

The call of the warmth in the darkness; the fire that he bore no longer - the man in the cloak. It called him like the gulls were called to the sea, like a bear was called to hibernate in the coldness of the chilliest season. 

It whispered to him things of relaxation and comfort when he appeared in front of the doorway with blackening feathers and tears running down his tired face. Whispered to him things that he wanted to hear - for they lay in the very depths of his mind. Whispers of peace, of finality tranquility. Of finally being able to rest.

And every time, he shook his head and walked away.

It got harder, every time. He would stand there for hours, debating with himself - and the cloaked figure would wait there patiently. It had time.

Tommy did not.

The Fallen wanted his feathers, wanted his _blood_ , and did not care about his survival. His death meant that he regened quicker - the things they _needed_.

He knew that they did not care if he breathed his final death, only what it brought for them.

 _Fight,_ the voices whispered in his head. The voices - not of Death, but of his family. Of Phil and Wilbur and Technoblade and Finn and Skeppy Dream and the rest of the phoenixes - and Tubbo.

 _Fight,_ they said with decisiveness. _Fight_ , they said, with roars in his ears and rage in their voices.

So he fought.

And on that day, he ceased to be a phoenix.

* * *

Tubbo felt it first. The days of searching had led to nothing, and Finn was frustrated that every trail they had led to dead ends and red herrings and things that none of them _understood_ . The castle was so abnormally _quiet_ , full of thoughts and scared whispers as Technoblade stalked through the halls, a permanent scowl on his face.

He felt it - something he had never felt before, not when the soul mark on his wrist - still covered by that damn netherite - had gone grey. He felt it in his chest when he was busy eating slices of apples that Bad had placed in front of him and, much like a mother hen, had demanded he eat.

He hadn't wanted to, but Bad's disappointed gaze weighed heavily inside him, and so, to his own chagrin, he had sat down and eaten the apple slices. Slowly. One by one.

One bite at a time.

He felt it, then. The whistle of a connection between him and a blonde-haired phoenix whose laugh was contagious, who was annoying, but amazing, and who was hist bestest friend in the whole wide world. 

He put a hand over his chest and choked on the apple bite. 

Why had he thought Tommy to be dead before?

This was worse. Far wore than he could imagine - far worse than he could _dream_. The pain that he felt as something tore through him, something great and terrifying and uncontrollable.

Tubbo stumbled away from the table and threw up.

"Holy _shit_ \- " Sapnap cursed as Tubbo leaned against the wall, dry heaving, shame trickling threw him - shame that was soon replaced with a full-out scream as it bubbled from his throat and burst loose into the din of the dining hall. 

Dream burst into the room at his shout, sword at the ready - but this was not something his dear older brother could solve.

This was not something anyone could solve.

Tubbo clapped a hand over his ears, squeezing his eyes shut as people started shouting at him, demanding to know what was wrong - but as Wilbur rushed into the room and made direct eye contact, Tubbo knew that his soulmate's musical brother _knew_.

Techno and Phil were out with George and Zelk.

Wilbur _knew_.

His vision flickered, and he found himself standing in the dream world - _the fuck, he wasn't asleep_ \- a different place, now. A quiet snow village. A different dream, a different world.

A boy standing opposite him with his wings tucked tightly out of view and blood trickling from his ears down his face.

Tubbo put out a hand towards his soulmate, and his vision flickered, and he saw Dream kneeling before him - his hand outstretched, still - saying things that he could not near.

"Tommy..." he whispered.

"Tubbo..." came the quiet voice back.

Tubbo sobbed in relief, stumbling closer and wrapping his arms around the cold limbs of his soulmate. He had noticed the fire disappearing from Tommy's eyes, from his blood - the coldness that permeated the air around him with dull eyes. "You're gonna be okay," he said, even as he felt warm lifeblood cover his hands from where it fell from Tommy's head.

He shouldn't be bleeding. This was a dream. This was a dream - their shared soulscape - they could be _whatever they wanted_ \- and Tommy chose this?

"You know that's not true, Tubbo," Tommy said softly, tucking his head under his and wrapping him close. "But it's nice that you still believe in the impossible."

"Don't leave me," Tubbo said, with shaking hands.

His vision flickered. Suddenly, he was hugging Dream just as he was hugging Tommy, and Wilbur was shoving people back, a wordless snarl escaping from his throat.

"I'll always be with you," Tommy whispered. "Always. Here." He lifted a hand up and touched Tubbo's chest, where his heart lay. "I'll always be with you in here."

"That's not the same," Tubbo said hollowly, squeezing his soulmate as if he would vanish and never return.

Because he might.

"Clingy bitch," Tommy snorted.

"Hypocrite," Tubbo retorted. 

"It's gonna be okay, alright Tubbo?" Tommy said, releasing him and kneeling down and cupping his face with bloodied, shaking hands.

Tubbo frowned at him, finally noticing the missing pieces. "Where are your wings?"

Tommy blinked at him, and the bright plumage flashed into place - but Tubbo saw the flickering that told of its brash lie. 

"Tommy," he whispered. "Where are your wings?"

"I suppose I wasn't ever meant to fly again," Tommy said back, a bit mournfully. "Not in this world."

"This is the only world you _belong_ in," he whispered fiercely, grabbing Tommy's wrist as the wings on the back of his soulmate turned so red they dripped in waterfalls of blood. "With your family. With _me_."

Tommy was quiet for a moment. Tubbo watched as the blood plopped onto the snow, one drop at a time.

Like sand in an hourglass, slowly counting down the seconds.

No, Tommy would _live_.

"You know that's not true."

Oh, Tommy.

He must've spoken that out loud. Tubbo whipped his head up to stare at his soulmate, who had a wry smile on his face, his sea-blue eyes greyed out slightly - even in the depths of this dream. 

"Where are your wings, Tommy?" he whispered. "Where can you fly?" They were hollow words - one of regret and sorrow and held-in grief. Still, if this was, truly, the end, he refused to spend it in an argument. 

Tommy's lips quirked up in a smile. "I will see you again," he whispered back, clutching at Tubbo like a lifeline that was never meant to be. "I promise."

"But not here," Tubbo said hollowly.

Tommy sighed. "No, I suppose not."

Tubbo blinked again, and a fire roared to life inside him - a fire that he had never felt before, fire that _wasn't_ fire - yet shone with magic and sadness.

He reached out in reality and grabbed Wilbur's arm, and pulled him into the dream.

Wilbur blinked in the snow, his jaw dropping slightly. Tommy tipped his head to the side, looking surprised. 

Two more forms joined the midst - one with pink hair and one wearing a bucket hat, as Tubbo pulled the only magic he could.

He could not use phoenix fire, but this - this was something he could do.

"Hello, Wilbur," Tommy said, blinking slightly. "Techno. Phil."

"Holy shit," Phil whispered, as Tubbo cast his concentration aside and returned to clinging to the taller boy with a fierce, protective hug. "Where are we?"

"Our soulscape," Tommy answered honestly when Tubbo did not. He frowned slightly. "I did not think this was possible."

"So..." Wilbur said. "You are really here?"

Tommy snorted. "Of course not," he said. "But my mind is. A part of me will always lie in him." He patted Tubbo on the head affectionately, and Tubbo felt a small part of him die inside with that small grasp of friendship. 

"Why'd he freak out?" Wilbur asked curiously, pointing at Tubbo.

"Wil, what's goin' on?" Techno asked cautiously.

"I'm dying," Tommy murmured, answering both questions at once. He laughed wryly. "I suppose a soulmate can feel those things."

"You _what_?" Phil gasped, striding forward instantly - yet his hand passed through Tommy's shoulder before he could pull him into a hug. Phil paused, eyes wide.

"Woah, hold on," Techno said nervously. "Like - dyin', dyin'? Or just phoenix dyin'?"

"The first, I suppose," Tommy said. 

"You are very...callous of that fact," Wilbur said, a tinge of hidden sadness in him. Techno was obviously trying not to start shouting, and Phil just looked at a loss, unable to comfort his son - unable to touch him in this dream world. 

"Acceptance," Tommy said with a small nod. "I suppose I've lived many lives more than I should have, what with being a phoenix and all that fuckery." A flash of his former self passed into the person that Tubbo was basically sobbing over, before vanishing. 

"I should have saved you," Techno whispered.

"You couldn't have," Tommy said. "Don't blame yourself, Techno. There was nothing you could have done. I had my freedom, and I should have cherished it while it lasted."

"You should cherish it _with_ us," Wilbur said hotly. "In the castle. Home."

"I should," Tommy said. "But I cannot. The Fallen - " he shook his head, looking slightly shaken. " - they have done things to ensure that I will never get away."

Tommy's very see-through wings flashed into Tubbo's mind, but he pushed that thought away.

"And so you will succumb to the call of Death," Phil said hollowly. "Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"You give up so easily, Theseus!" Techno snarled.

Tommy blinked at him. "You have not called me that in a long time."

"You have not been so readily foolish in a long time," Techno snorted. His eyes softened slightly. "I have not seen you for a long time."

"You forget that if you were to die, you would succumb to His call without a thought," Tommy pointed out. "Without even an inkling of a feeling, you would succumb, and you would not look back until you awoke in the Halls of your ancestors."

"I am not a phoenix."

"And I am not an avarial," Tommy said. "Given the choice, I would not choose this ending."

"Yet you do," Tubbo said, speaking for the first time in minutes.

"I do not choose _anything_ ," Tommy said warningly. "I cannot outlast this endless cycle of rebirth and death."

"We'll find you," Phil said hurriedly. " _Please_ , Tommy, just a little longer - "

"You won't," Tommy said. "Not for many years. You will search and you will search but you will never find it."

"You don't know that," Wilbur argued.

"You think the phoenixes would make their ancient home so easily findable?"

"No," Wilbur said. "They wouldn't."

Tommy smiled softly. "I love you," he said. "You know that, right?"

"Please don't leave me," Tubbo begged. 

"You will carry a part of me until you die," Tommy said. "Just...don't make that for a while, yeah?"

"I can't live without you," Tubbo said, broken and hollow and void. 

"You can," Tommy said, always the stubborn bitch he was. "You can and you will. If not for yourself, for _me_." He blew out a breath of air. "Watch the sunset for me, will you? Fly in the air and beat Technoblade or Dream for once - will you?"

Tubbo was silent.

"Will you?"

"I will," he said.

"Son, you are not going to die here," Phil said.

"You may be king, Phil," Tommy said. "But even you cannot fight death."

"Don't succumb to the call, Tommy," Wilbur begged. "Please."

"I don't plan to," Tommy said, and they let out breaths of release. "But I will." Techno snarled with rage at the totality in Tommy's voice. "Whether it is tonight or tomorrow, I can't tell. But this will be our final meeting." He hesitated. "Between all of us."

"Come back to me," Tubbo whispered.

"One day," Tommy said back. "One day, I'll see you again, in the flesh. I hope that it is in this world, but - I do not believe it so."

"I love you, Tommy," Techno choked out. He winced as four gazes turned to him. "What?! I do!"

"I know you do," Tommy said.

"Tommy - " Wilbur said.

"I love you too, Wil," Tommy interrupted. "Don't beat yourself up, okay?"

"Come on, son," Phil said, his blue eyes - so like Tommy's - full of untapped sadness. "Just a little bit longer."

"Just a little bit longer," Tommy echoed, but there was a forlornness on his face as he squeezed Tubbo one last time.

And then he was gone, and all was left was the swirling snow in a world that wasn't even reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter will definitely take a bit of time, please be patient! <3


	3. Rise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is more to Tommy's story than meets the light of day...
> 
> ...especially to people that have never seen daylight.

For fourteen years of her life, Puffy had lived in the City of Embers.

The City of Embers, the ancient home of the phoenixes - and her home, now.

 _Their_ home. 

They, the broken ones. The abandoned. The lost. Those that had fallen into the pit because of injuries or birth defects and dumped by those who did not want to care for them anymore. 

Four of them. Four different avarial, four different professions. Four different injuries. Four fixes of metal and technology, enabled by the magic that was easily harvested from the Heart of the city.

Herself - a brace of metal embedded into her back, allowing her to walk. Her spinal cord had been severed when she was young; too young to remember _what_ , exactly, and she had been left to die. Somehow she, a young avarial with no wings, had crawled down a hole, falling the rest of the distance to the ground in a city long abandoned by people. The metal - the _netherite_ , as it was called in the many texts that told tales of phoenixes and their heroic deeds - what they could do, and how they had died out - the netherite drew power from the Heart of the city, fixing her. Allowing her to walk - with a limp, but a walk nonetheless. Without it, she was useless. 

Without it, she was nothing. The Heart kept her feet working, and so she turned away from the passageway out and stayed down in the glowing City of Embers; all that remained of the dead race of phoenixes. Besides, there was nothing for her Above. She couldn't walk, and her village had abandoned her to _die_. She had nothing up there.

She had something down here. She had something to protect - she had an entire civilization to uncover, she had an entire race's _history_ to protect from those that would dare try to invade it.

And there were those that would. She had fought some off herself, with a sword that sung of power and metal and smoke and felt heavy and dead once she stepped out the borders of the city. She had fought alongside her friends with fire that wasn't hers, with borrowed time and borrowed metal and a whisper in her voice that told her to _protect,_ to guard.

Guardians.

For that was what they were.

She was not the only person to find their way into the ancestral home of the phoenixes. Three more stood by her, three more wounded avarial who would never recover, who were permanently broken - who the Heart gave to, and so then they gave back in the form of protection.

Another was one named Sam, with dark green feathers and a love for technology. He had been badly burned as a child, and had been blinded by the wrathful fire that had torn through his parent's house one horrible autumn night. Blamed for his deaths, Sam had been cast away - and had been the first to wander into the City of Embers, mindlessly following orders the Heart gave him until he crafted a pair of goggles that focused the light away in certain places and allowed him to see, and a brace of netherite for the arm that would not work properly on its own. 

Like the rest of the technology, the fire magic that powered it did not work outside the boundaries.

And so Sam stayed inside, another Guardian with a shocking past.

The third to crawl into the city was a young boy named Antfrost - or Ant, as he insisted everyone call him. She remembered holding the barely-grown avarial - seven months, he had been, when she had heard the call of the Heart to rescue him, and had dragged herself out on legs that no longer worked to rescue the poor babe.

When he grew up, she realized why his parents had thought him slow. He was smart and funny and loud, but when his wings came in - pale yellow things, not golden like her own; pale like the early-morning sun - they were weak and unable to hold the young boy in the air.

And so the Heart had fashioned him braces for his wings - splints of netherite that thrummed with power and heat, and allowed him to fly in the underground City of Embers. 

Unlike Puffy or Sam, Ant couldn't leave if he wanted to. To get in and out, it required wings, and Ant would fall if he tried.

But Ant never tried, because he didn't want to leave. He was perfectly content living in a piece of history, though he did wonder about the outside world. They all did.

The fourth, and final, was a red-haired boy named Velvet. Upon finding him two years after Ant received his wings, she immediately understood why his village had left him. The poor boy had white wings speckled with red; almost like blood. He was so pale and had raspberry red eyes that looked to her in fear - he was nine _, nine_.

Puffy was only twelve, then. She had taken him back to Sam, who was fourteen, and Ant, who was ten. 

Velvet was mute, she learned. Mute and bore weak muscles that made him stumble with every step.

The Heart gave him strength like no other, and with it, Velvet was able to bear a sword and strike down the Fallen like any avarial soldier. 

The four of them - the Guardians. Ant, always the dramatic one, called them the Forsaken Ones, but Puffy had objected that it sounded too much like the Fallen.

Ah, the Fallen. Avarial who had attempted to take the blood of phoenixes and inject it into their own bodies. Or, so said the journals that Velvet enjoyed reading to himself. They all had their own ways to pass the time. Velvet's was the library - the library, half of which she was sure contained information that wasn't available to those aboveground, as they were handwritten journals by every single one of the phoenixes; an entry every week - man, women, or child. At the beginning of the journals, it was always a childish scrawl. At the end, it usually featured an older person, who wondered about what lay beyond and said things about the call.

What hurt the most was reading through them. About their lives and what they had accomplished - and then seeing the endnote, where someone had written the date and time of their passing, phoenix's though they were.

The books were centuries old. Some were even a thousand years old - and still, the four of them had yet to even start to _touch_ the amount of history that lay within the walls of the library. 

And she had no doubt that there was something more that lay beyond the doorway made of netherite. A doorway that she often stood in front, pondering, wondering how she could open it without the hands of a phoenix to guide her - for only a phoenix could open the doors; and Puffy, along with the rest of the Guardians, were mere avarial in the hands of the Heart of the City of Embers.

"You cannot stand in front of the doors forever."

Puffy turned, brushing her white locks out of her face as she faced Sam; whose green wings were folded neatly behind him. The gentle glow of the many fire crystals, and the giant stalactite - the tip, at which the Heart sat - illuminated the dead city behind her blonde-haired friend. It was a sad thing; devoid of color, and made of stone, the decorative carpets, and age-feather tapestries - for they were described by many in the books - long gone. She had tried her best to follow the painted pictures of the phoenixes, but most of the art of the phoenixes of old were made from their feathers or netherite, and she, being an avarial, could work neither arts.

Still, the warehouses were airtight, and Puffy had managed to find one full of wool - and so there lay a splash of color, copied from a blueprint in an art register, in the house the four Guardians had picked out for their own. 

"Don't you ever wonder what's behind the door?" she asked her friend, as she joined him in walking through the empty city. Sometimes it hurt, to see the houses forever covered in a layer of dust - because the race of the phoenixes were gone. But sometimes she was glad that she was here, preserving a little piece of history - given a gift by the Heart, and giving in return the only thing she could.

Sam reached up and adjusted his goggles, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Of course I do," he said. "But you are not a phoenix, Puffy. I am not a phoenix, Ant is not a phoenix, and Velvet is not a phoenix. Phoenixes died out when the Fallen invaded the city. They are gone now, and that door made of netherite is closed. There is nothing we could ever do to get in there."

Puffy sighed. "Yeah, but..." she trailed off, thinking of the elaborate carvings in the door - carvings that depicted a boy falling from the sky, shedding feathers as he went. "There's supposed to be extremely important items behind that door."

"For the phoenixes," Sam reminded her. "Not for us."

"Aren't you a _little_ bit curious?" she asked impatiently.

Sam threw up his hands, Puffy's eyes following the glint of metal that outlined his left arm. "Of course I am, Puffy," he said again. "But there's nothing we can _do_. We have other issues - and what does it matter what's behind the door?"

"What if there are phoenixes behind the door?" she pushed. "A whole other city, and they're still _alive_?"

Sam snorted. "There aren't blueprints for that area of the city," he said. "Sure, secrets are there - but Puffy, the phoenixes are gone. They don't exist anymore."

"You don't know that," she huffed.

"You and Velvet tend to believe in the impossible," he said. "I'm a more straightforward type of guy."

She raised an eyebrow jokingly. "Don't put yourself on the _straightforward_ side with Ant. Have you _seen_ him and Velvet recently?"

"Oh Gods, don't remind me," Sam groaned, his face reddening. "I caught them kissing in a storage room, and it scarred me for life."

"Which one?" she asked with a small shudder. "Remind me to never enter that one."

"The one with the slime - " Sam stopped in his tracks, horror crossing his face. "...you know what, _fuck_ any inventions. I'm never getting slime again."

"Yep," Puffy said in aghast agreement. "In fact, I'm never going anywhere near that warehouse again."

"Agreed."

**_"Welcome home."_ **

Puffy gasped as the voice filled her head, rubbing her forehead as the voice of the Heart - the Heart, who so rarely spoke, whispered into her mind. By the pained look on Sam's face, it seemed she was not the only one who had heard it.

"Welcome home?" she asked him. He shook his head, confusion reining deeply on his face.

The loud blaring sound of an alarm sounded out across the empty city. Puffy and Sam spread their wings and took to the air instantly.

"That's the southern passage," Sam gasped out, as they drew nearer to the ceiling of the city, where the fire crystals glowed and illuminated the city. He tilted his head, listening. "But - it's not an army."

"Doesn't matter," Puffy said angrily as she dove towards the center of the city; where a dry fountain lay. She landed near Velvet, who was already there, the red-haired man tossing her her sword. His boyfriend landed next to him wordlessly, grabbing his bow and a pack of arrows.

"Southern passage," Sam repeated as he landed, folding his green wings in as Velvet handed the avarial his netherite sword. 

"Gotcha," Ant said, taking off again, an arrow nocked in his hand. Velvet had a slightly worried expression on his face.

"I'll scout," Puffy said.

"What - Puffy, no!" Sam said, grabbing her arm with his metal-infused one as she made to take off.

"Look, we all know I'm the fastest one here," she said in annoyance, taking the time to tie up her white hair into a ponytail. "Ant is watching from above, and Velvet can't call for help - no offense - "

 _It's okay_ , Velvet signed with one hand, quickly. 

" - and you're slower than me," she finished.

Sam frowned, but let go of her, and she raised her eyebrows before spreading her golden wings and taking to the skies in a rush of acceleration and exhilaration. Immediately her eyes narrowed in on the southern passage - a small thing, a doorway in the wall that hadn't had stairs before; but Sam had built stairs into it so that Velvet could walk up when he felt tired.

The air had always been her region. Despite having working legs thanks to the braces around her waist and legs, and a magical flame that flowed through it all and infused her legs properly - she had always felt far more comfortable in the air.

Puffy flew towards the southern passage, sword out, landing on the small Sam-made balcony that stood in front of the rocky tunnel. She narrowed her eyes, her sword raised in front of her protectively, wings spread and ready to shove herself off and shout for the other Guardians.

Instead of an army, a boy stumbled into view. Puffy halted as she took a good look at his blood-covered face. 

He was not Fallen. At least...not that she could see. He had one white wing and one black one, and a green eye and a red. He looked positively exhausted, and bore the same split of white and black hair. 

"Hello," she whispered to him as he nearly collapsed against the wall in relief. He looked up at her with fear in his eyes - yet from what she could tell, he bore no weapon.

A whirl of motion landed on the balcony, and Puffy held up a hand as Sam made to attack the boy.

"Don't," she murmured. 

"You - you have to help me," the boy said. "I - I couldn't take him any farther - " he looked up at her with wide eyes, and immediately her heart hurts from the pain it looked like he'd been through. 

"You're going to be okay, she murmured, coming towards him in a flurry of movement."

"Puffy - " Sam started, and she waved him off.

"He's just a kid, Sam."

"Kids can be dangerous," Sam warned, narrowing his eyes.

She snorted and knelt next to the boy, who was cowering next to the wall. "You okay?"

"I - sort of..." he trailed off, and then shook his head, as if trying to remember something. "He's - he's dying...you gotta save him - !"

"Shh," she murmured. "Who?"

"A phoenix - " the boy said. "I couldn't carry him any further - "

Puffy gasped softly, just as Ant and Velvet land behind Sam.

 _What's going on?_ the red-haired avarial demanded with narrowed eyes.

"We have a situation," Puffy said.

 _Welcome home_. Of course. The Heart had been talking to - had been talking to the phoenix that this kid had said was down the passageway.

"It's a trap," Sam said instantly.

Puffy shook her head. "The Heart talked, remember?" Sam frowned, more in agreement. She turned her head. "Ant, Velvet, take - "

"Ranboo," the boy said, when she paused.

" - Ranboo back to the medical center, and patch him up the best you can," she ordered. "You're not going to bleed to death, are you?" she asked Ranboo.

He shook his head numbly. "This isn't my blood."

Sam paled, and strode to her side, grabbing her sword and tossing it to her.

"You sure?" Ant called as she and the green-feathered avarial started to head further down the passageway.

"Yes," she said shortly. "Get him to the med center, Ant. We'll meet with you shortly."

"If your bracelet buzzes," Sam said, waving his communicator for emphasis. "Prepare for a battle."

Ant nodded, looking slightly white. "Got it." He knelt by Ranboo. "Can you fly?" Ranboo shook his head, and Ant motioned to Velvet, who frowned and moved toward Ranboo. Puffy didn't catch the last of the conversation as she and Sam moved further down the cave, rounding the bend.

"A phoenix," Sam murmured. "Could it be? Truly?"

She shook her head numbly. "I - I don't know," she said. "He...did not seem like he was lying."

"Yet half his feathers were black," Sam said, confirming her suspicions.

"That does not make him Fallen," she said with a scowl. "There are plenty of those with raven or crow wings."

"But have you ever seen one split so evenly?" Sam pushed. "Black and white? Two sides of a coin?"

"We haven't seen anyone but the four of us and a whole lot of Fallen," she shot back wryly. 

"True," Sam murmured, but he still seemed uneasy.

And then they rounded the bend of the cave passageway and there wasn't any wondering anymore. There wasn't any time for wondering, and any lingering thoughts vanished as Puffy's eyes landed on a boy lying in a pool of blood in the hallway.

She gasped loudly at the sight, and Sam cursed something awful that she would usually hit him for - but couldn't, wouldn't, because for once - for once, it was justified.

"Where are his wings?" Sam asked, slightly terrified.

Puffy felt bile rise in her throat as she stepped over him, her boots splashing in the blood. His shirt, once white, she thought, was completely red, and his khaki pants were also horribly stained with who-knows-what. His blonde hair was dirty-filled and greasy and also blood-stained. "Oh my God," she whispered.

"Is he...dead?" Sam asked.

With shaking hands, Puffy reached down and felt for the boy's neck, cringing at the cold liquid that got all over her fingers.

Nothing.

She opened her mouth to give Sam the horrible news - and then she felt something. Slow.

Very, very slow. And if it was even possible, it was slowing down. 

"He's dying," she said. "We have to get him to Ant."

"Should we even move him?" Sam asked.

Puffy tore aside a bit of his shirt and bit her lip, drawing blood. "I don't think the damage can get any worse," she said. Sam nodded at her, looking slightly sick - though she couldn't see his eyes - and hefted him up, his back - his horrible, horrible wound - facing outward.

As Sam flapped his wings to fly back - a terrible idea, really, in the narrowness of the hallway, but necessary in this occasion - Puffy wondered if the boy was a phoenix. If Ranboo had been telling the truth - that this blood-covered, wingless kid, was a phoenix.

The rocks on either side of the narrow corridor clipped her wings, and Puffy cringed as she lost a few of her well-kept feathers. Still, she followed Sam back, praying that they would make it in time. 

That they wouldn't be too late.

They burst into the City of Embers, and Sam dived towards the medical center as if his life depended on it.

Which, of course, it did. 

Sam landed in a flurry of green feathers, and Puffy screamed for Ant, who rushed out of the medical center, black and white feathers sticking to his body already. His eyes widened at the boy in Sam's arms, and he gestured for them to come into the facility, flattening himself against the wall as Sam rushed past, his feathers twitching with agitation and fear. Puffy followed him, in, her hands shaking and covered in sticky blood.

"Lay him face-down," Ant instructed as they entered the room. Puffy spotted Ranboo against the wall, blinking at her with his odd mirrored wings, Velvet handing him the last of a potion.

Sam lay the boy carefully on the table, and Ant used a knife to cut away at his shirt and tossing it into the nearby sink. Puffy nearly threw up at the horrendous wound that she'd only glimpsed in the cave.

His wings had been cut off. Not _only_ cut off - pulled out, dug so deep that bone was visible beneath the bloody visage. She couldn't even have guessed what type of avarial he was if Ranboo hadn't told her he was a phoenix. 

Ant, white-faced, pursed his lips and signed something to his boyfriend, who left the room hurriedly.

"Sam, go get some rags," Ant said verbally, and Sam left as well.

"What happened?" Puffy asked, when Ant grabbed a few kits from the shelves - cleaning alcohol, a sewing kit, some flesh thread.

"They cut off his wings," Ranboo answered her, cringing slightly under her hardened gaze. "They cut off his wings to make him Fall."

"He's a phoenix, then?" Ant said.

Ranboo nodded stiffly. "I - I don't know what they did to him," he gasped out. "I don't know if he can respawn anymore."

"Phoenix's powers reside in their back," Ant murmured, more to himself than to any of the occupants in the room. "Below their wings. A second heart, made of fire."

"Did you read that?" Puffy asked.

"Velvet did," Ant said. "He told me about it."

"Don't let him die," Ranboo said, his voice suddenly shrill. "He won't respawn."

Velvet and Sam burst back into the room, the former carrying pink, purple, and red potions, and the latter bearing an armful of white rags.

"Puffy, by the sink," Ant said, and Puffy followed his lead, heading to the sink and turning on the water. "Wash the rags after I put them in there. Velvet, I need your steady hand. Sam, hold him down."

"He's not moving," Sam said wearily, but stood by the table as Ant tore a bit of the flesh thread using his teeth, the needle flashing in the lamps' light. 

"He will," Ant said. "He will." 

* * *

Puffy's hands soon grew sore from scrubbing at the stubborn bloodstains in the rags as she washed them, hanging them on the drying rack for Velvet to grab once done. Her hands were red from constant scouring - but that couldn't compare to any of her friends, who had blood splatter on their hands, chests, and faces.

Seven hours after they had gotten the boy into the medical center, Ant stepped back with a weary look. "That's the best I can do," he said. "The rest is up to him. Any more health and regeneration potions would kill him from the overdose."

Puffy slumped against the wall, sliding to the floor in relief. Sam leaned against the wall, looking positively exhausted. Velvet leaned against his boyfriend, eyes drained and feathers limp. Ranboo was asleep in one of the chairs, his knees drawn to his chest and his wings curled around him. Her eyes slipped closed.

"Come," a voice said, and Puffy's eyes shot open. She must have closed them and accidentally fallen asleep. She peered up at Ant, whose hands were clean - how had she not heard the sink? - and reached up and grabbed his forearm, groaning slightly at the ache in her muscles as he tugged her to her feet. 

"Go to sleep," he said to her, and Puffy looked around the room. Ranboo, Sam, and Velvet were gone - when had they left? - and the boy lay slumbering on the table, his chest rising and falling slightly as he breathed.

"I'll stay here," she decided instead, limping her way to one of the chairs that Ranboo had deserted. Ant opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off. "Go to bed, Ant. I'll take care of him."

Ant left, and Puffy was left alone staring at the sleeping boy.

 _Who are you?_ she wondered, as her eyes traced the now-clean face of the boy. He had blonde hair - perhaps a bit longer than usual - and lines on his face as if he smiled often. She had noted the scars on his back - old, old ones - and wondered how long he had spent in the nest of the Fallen.

Ranboo had insisted only a few weeks, but she had a feeling it was longer than that. Some of those scars were old.

And, if he truly was a phoenix, created by the same metal that she had in her spine and sword. Netherite. The bane of the phoenixes of old - and the only metal that was able to surpass the phoenix's powers of life and death. 

Puffy leaned her head against the wall and slipped into the wave of sleep.

Her eyes shot open once more at the sound of groaning, and she leaped to her feet, swiftly heading for the table and putting a soothing hand on the boy's arm. If she could've, she would have run a hand through his feathers - but he had none, and Puffy felt a sadness creep through her. 

The Heart had a fix for everything, but this was not something that it could fix.

The boy groaned against, shifting, and Puffy shushed him under her breath. He would wreck Ant's stitching if he moved too much, she thought wearily. Still, he clearly seemed uneasy - as if she would attack him. Perhaps he thought she would.

And so she opened her mouth and sang.

It didn't help.

Later, she found out that the boy was deaf.

* * *

The first coherent feeling that Tommy felt was pain.

The second, silence.

A silence so deep it ran in his soul - and nothing he did made a noise that he could hear. A silence so deep that something was _wrong_ \- not like nobody was making noise. There was always noise. 

The skitter of a mouse on the rocky floor, the brush of his feathers against the stone, the coughing, deep in his chest, from congested lungs. The footsteps of the Fallen as they came for him.

The screams in his throat that died as they cut off his wings.

Four figures moved just beyond his comprehension, worried looks on their faces as he thrashed. One held him down, his mouth moving, no sound escaping it. The second tortured him with a needle in his back, and the third forced viscous liquid down his throat that - that made him better?

Confusion was the third feeling that Tommy felt. Confusion because there was nothing but a buzzing in his throat and the pounding of his heart. Confusion about the pain in his back and the lack of a brush of feathers across his - 

Ah.

His eyes shot open to reveal a pale ceiling and a woman standing over him. She had white curly hair that somehow seemed natural, and bright blue eyes that painstakingly reminded him of Tubbo. Her wings were pale gold, and he breathed a sigh of relief at the lack of black feathers.

She noticed he was awake and smiled at him. It was a soft, motherly thing, full of comfort. His heart ached for his father - his father, who probably thought he was dead. His family, who thought he was gone.

_He would never fly again._

The thought hit him like an arrow to the heart, and he nearly fell off the table he was balancing on, the woman catching him with warm arms, her mouth moving soundlessly.

He flailed in her grip, a scream that he could not hear except for the buzz in his throat leaving him. Her mouth continued to move as she lay him back on the table, his back aching. He lifted up trembling arms to see nothing but blood and scars and a few red lines where the endings of stitchings could be shown.

Someone tapped his shoulder, and Tommy whirled. The woman leaped back, wary now, but still with that comforting look on her face as she tried to calm him. His breaths came in heavy pants as she tilted her head at him.

Was she going to hurt him? 

No, she'd healed him. Hadn't she?

The door burst open, and the only reason Tommy realized that was because he saw the flurry of movement as a green-feathered man burst into the room, his sword out.

Netherite, that was _netherite_ , that man was going to hurt him -

The white-haired woman stepped smoothly between them, and she _thought_ she was talking because the green-feathered man tilted his head, a pair of odd metal and leather glasses covering his eyes. 

He put the sword down, and Tommy breathed easier. 

The woman turned and held up her hands placatingly, her mouth still moving with words Tommy could not hear. She tapped her ears, pointing at Tommy - the movement made him flinch quietly - and yet her eyes were still large and caring and her wings were tucked behind her, and from what Tommy could see, there weren't any weapons strapped to her body.

Still, he shook his head when she tapped her ears meaningfully, pointing at him once more. Her expression softened, and she turned to the green-feathered man and said something. He frowned, but turned and stalked out of the room.

Tommy cringed at the movements, and instantly, the woman was next to him, running a calming hand down his arm. Something about her reminded him of a mother - though she was not his - and he felt slightly comforted by her presence, even though he had no idea what her name was, or who she was, or what she was, or where they were.

The green-feathered man re-entered the room a few moments later, carrying two books and two pens. He handed them both to the white-haired woman, who said something to him. The green-feathered man backed off, going to lean against the wall.

Tommy was glad that the netherite sword no longer lay at his hip, though he still cringed away from him. 

The woman handed one of the books and one of the pens to him, and he opened it tentatively. It was empty.

Frowning, he glanced up at the woman sitting next to him on the table, only to find that she was holding up the first page of the book.

_Hello. I'm Puffy._

**_Hi._ **

A hesitation. She - Puffy - smiled at him.

**_I'm Tommy._ **

_Hello, Tommy. How are you?_

**_Scared_ , ** he admitted. **_Where am I?_ **

_The ancestral home of the phoenixes - the City of Embers._

Surprise filled him instantly, and he scooted away, wincing at the pain in his back.

 _Don't move,_ Puffy wrote quickly, her handwriting neat for how fast her hand was moving. _You'll tear the stitches._

 **_Are_ \- ** he paused in his writing. **_Are my wings gone?_ **

Puffy's eyes softened, and she hesitated before printing her next words. _Yes, Tommy. I'm so sorry._

He closed his eyes and dropped the book and the pen. They clattered to the floor silently - silently, because he was missing his wings and he couldn't hear and he was _ruined_ and broken and he would never fly again, never hear his soulmate laugh again.

A light touch on his shoulder, and he jumped again. Puffy winced. _Sorry. You seemed lost. This is Sam._ She finished writing the name and pointed to the green-feathered man. _He's an inventor. I think he can fix your hearing problem._

 **_I'm deaf_ , ** he said. **_Nothing can fix that._ **

_The Heart can_ , the white-haired avarial scribbled quickly, and he noted that she capitalized the H in heart. _After all, I had a spinal injury that disabled the use of my legs - and look at me! I walk just fine!_ She put the book down and got up, taking a few steps to show him.

He shook his head, confused. What Puffy was saying was impossible. Injuries like that were impossible to fix. 

_I can fly again?_ he asked hesitantly.

Puffy took a while to jot down her next thoughts, her lips pursed. _I...am sorry, Tommy,_ she said again. _But while the Heart could brace Ant's wings, it cannot make new things. Only make stronger what we already have._

His heart dropped, and Puffy drew him in for a hug. He let her.

He had known her for so short a time, and he let her hug him.

He was growing soft. He was weak.

And yet he did not want to let go of her. Of her golden feathers that curled around him protectively. Of her warm embrace.

He missed his brothers. He missed his soulmate.

He was saved from having to let go when Puffy let go first, turning her head around to see the room's two newest occupants, one of whom, if Tommy had to guess, was the person that she had named Ant. One of them had red hair and strawberry eyes and white wings. If Tommy squinted, he was sure that he saw bits of metal below the shirt of the red-haired boy, but he wasn't quite sure. The other avarial had pale yellow wings - they looked unhealthy compared to Puffy's - and dirty blonde hair to match it.

Tommy could _definitely_ see the metal that outlined his wings. Tommy could see the dark netherite feathers that lined the bottom of his wings, making up his primary feathers.

So this - this _Heart_ \- had given this boy - Ant - the ability to fly again? After he had lost his power?

Puffy tapped his shoulder, and to his credit, he did not jump at the now-familiar feeling of her hands, though he was still wary of the three others in the room. _This is Ant,_ she wrote, pointing to the yellow-feathered avarial. _And Velvet._ The strawberry-eyed man waved, a wide grin on his face.

 **_Hello,_ **he wrote with shaking hands.

 _Velvet is mute_ , Puffy said, catching his attention once more. _The Heart could not fix that, but he can use sign language. Sam is blind, but the Heart fixed that and the arm that had become lame when he fell._

 **_Who - who are you people?_ **he wrote.

 _We are the Guardians,_ Puffy wrote after a moment. _Outcasts of society. Those unwanted avarial that were never perfect enough to be in sight of the towns and villages of our birth._ She made a face. _Abandoned, we found our way down here - or were brought here by the occupants. The Heart healed our problems - most of them anyway - and we protect the City of Embers, the ancestral home of the phoenixes, until they return to claim it._

He licked his lips. **_I've never heard of this place._ **

_We've never left it,_ Puffy said. _The magic of the Heart only works so far, and so should I choose to leave it, my legs would cease to work Above. Sam would become blind once more, his arm useless, and Velvet could not leave if he tried, for the only way out is through flight - and he and Ant do not have the strength to fly without the Heart._

His heart dropped. **_So I cannot leave?_ **

_No, little duckling,_ she said, and for some reason, that honorific did not feel as if she was making fun of him. _You cannot._

**_What of my family?_ **

She frowned. _That is a problem for another time_ , she decided. _For now, you need to heal and rest. Ranboo says that your phoenix powers are gone._

**_Who's Ranboo?_ **

She hesitated, and he frowned at that. Why would he hesitate unless she was hiding something? Immediately, he was on edge, and Puffy saw that and put out a hand. _He's your rescuer,_ she wrote quickly. _He brought you to the entrance of the city, where we found you. He's also recovering from wounds as well, though none as dire as your own._

 **_Okay,_ **he said, though he knew that she was hiding something.

Someone waved for his attention, and Tommy looked up to see Velvet waving at him. _Would you like a tour?_ the strawberry-haired boy asked, writing in a book that he had procured from - well, from somewhere.

Tommy perked up. Finn would have loved to see this place.

He wondered if he would ever see Finn again.

 _It is your ancestor's home, is it not?_ Velvet prodded.

"What?" he found himself saying, the buzz in his throat the only indication that he was speaking.

 _You are a phoenix, right?_ Velvet continued. Ant muttered something to the other boy, who flushed and closed the book.

"No, wait," he said. "I am. A phoenix, I mean." He gazed at the floor. "I mean...I was."

 _You still are,_ Puffy assured him. _Just because Ant cannot fly without help does not make him less of an avarial. Just because you have lost your wings does not make you less of a phoenix._

"I don't have any fire," he muttered. "I can't feel my magic."

Puffy exchanged a glance with Sam, frowning. _We feared so. It matters not._ She shook her head, white curls bouncing. _Once a phoenix, always a phoenix._

"Once a phoenix, always a phoenix," he repeated dumbly.

He couldn't help but not feel like anything at all.

* * *

The City of Embers was beautiful. Empty, but beautiful.

Tommy wondered in the glowing fire-crystals that decorated the ceiling - crystals that Velvet told him powered a lot of the technology here; powered through the material netherite. He hadn't realized it could be used for anything but death until Ant had spread his wings and showed him the netherite that the Heart - a giant stone and fire-crystal stalactite - infused with magic to allow the avarial to fly once more.

Puffy showed him the passageway out, and he stared up at the blink of blue in the sky, reminded of the volcano. It wasn't as warm here, but the fire crystals never allowed the room temperature to dip below average, so the borrowed t-shirt that had belonged to Velvet was the only thing he needed as a top.

It hurt that he would never leave here. Unlike the other phoenixes' volcanic house, he couldn't ever _learn_ to be free, to fly home.

His magic was absent, but the golden tattoo of the bee on his wrist remained there, golden and pretty and alive, and he rejoiced in the fact that Tubbo still breathed and walked the earth. 

He learned that there was a huge library that stored the knowledge of the phoenixes lost - knowledge that Velvet had kept neatly stored away, often sitting down for long periods of time to rewrite scripts that were losing their ink. He did not have the same interest that Technoblade and Tubbo and Finn had had for his ancestors, yet the sheer amount of journals and history that lay in the library astounded him all the same.

He learned that the fire-crystals stored the power of the long-lost phoenixes, and that they, along with the Heart, was what allowed the technological wonders that Sam created to run. He wondered that if he had had his fire, still, if he could have used his hands to power the suit that allowed Puffy to remain upright and not in the wheelchair that sat in the dusty corner, long unused. 

_Do you want to meet Ranboo?_ Puffy asked after they'd gotten back to the place where the four "Guardians" apparently were housed.

"Why do you keep asking me that with that worried look on your face?" he demanded. He wasn't sure if he was being too loud or too quiet, but Puffy didn't tell him to shut up - not that he thought she would. It was odd, to step and not hear the echo of his shoes against the stone, to tap his fingers against the pulsing crystals that Sam showed him and not feel the clicks of his nails against the surface of the gems. To speak and feel the buzz in his throat, but not hear the words he spoke. To, in order to communicate, read the words written in ink on an old notebook by broken avarial.

 _Ranboo...is different,_ Puffy wrote. _You might freak out when you see him._

He raised an eyebrow skeptically, rolling his shoulders with unease. Without the feathers, he felt lighter. 

And yet, without his feathers, he felt as if the world pressed down on his shoulders, weighing him to the ground.

Was this how it felt - not being able to fly? Before, he hadn't realized the freedom of flight itself. Before, he hadn't experienced freedom - and yet, now, he felt as if something was pushing him down and holding him to the ground and not letting him up.

He would never fly again, he realized. When Puffy asked if he wanted her to carry him around he declined.

If he could not have the wings to carry himself, then he would never fly again. Shame filled him as he stared up at that pinprick of blue that led to the Above - a place that Ant and Velvet could never exit to, and a place that if Puffy were to go, she would never walk; a place where if Sam were to go, he would never see.

None of them could take him home.

He couldn't take himself home.

He saw Ranboo and he screamed, and clung to Puffy as the memories of the black feathers and dark metal assaulted him. He clung to Puffy and sobbed like he was a _child_ again, because he wasn't strong enough to face his path, and he would never go home again. Ranboo had a sorrowful look on his face, and Sam was speaking to him in a not-angry tone.

He did not understand. Ranboo was Fallen.

Ranboo had white feathers.

Ranboo was not like Corpse, who had crow-black feathers. Ranboo was Fallen. Tommy could feel the wrongness from the boy just as he had felt the wrongness in every Fallen he had ever come across.

Puffy soothed him like a mother duckling as he clung to her and cried for his father, for his brothers, for the soulmate he would never see.

**_"My child, why do you weep?"_ **

The absence of the silence surprised him so much that he froze, tears stopping from his eyes as Puffy ran a warm hand through his hair - _Phil, where was Phil_ \- and it resonated so deep within him that he knew that it could only be one thing.

The Heart. Velvet had said that it spoke on occasion to them, when the Fallen attacked the city - apparently, they did that often - when they needed the voice to continue onwards - and recently, to welcome a phoenix home to the city for the first time in millennia. 

"I will never fly again," he murmured, and Puffy stiffened from her grasp on him. She was shorter than him - but she was Phil's height - and _oh_ , he just wanted to be home again.

He wanted this journey to be over.

He wanted his journey to end.

**_"My dear little fledgling, your journey is far from over."_ **

There was a faint amusement in that voice, and Tommy grumbled under his breath; though all he heard was the vibrations in his throat. "Great, just great," he muttered.

**_"Fear not, the worst is behind you,"_ ** the voice intoned. **_"My Guardians will protect you and bring you home."_ **

He blinked. "I don't have wings, I can't go home."

**_"Phoenixes always find a way,"_ **the Heart whispered into his mind.

The silence was back, and it was far more depressing than before. He blinked, and he was staring into Puffy's worried blue eyes.

 _What happened?_ she wrote in the journal quickly.

"I think the Heart talked to me," he muttered. Puffy's eyes widened slightly.

_What did it say?_

"The worst is behind me, my journey is far from over, and all that bullshit," he snarled, and he must've spoken too loudly, because Puffy winced slightly at his tone. "I can't even hear."

 _Sam's working on that_ , Puffy promised.

"And yet I will never fly," he pointed out wryly. Puffy's face fell. 

_That doesn't mean you can't go home_ , she wrote, her writing gentle and sweet - like he imagined her voice to me. Like a mother writing sympathetically to a grieving child. _Sam and I have an idea for that._

He blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

 _Velvet was reading..._ Puffy said, her pen pausing on the paper, though not because it had run out of ink. _Apparently, there's a yearly meeting between the kingdoms._

"Yeah?" he said warily, already tired from having cried too much. Ranboo had been escorted out by said-librarian _eons_ ago, and Ant had followed his...boyfriend, Tommy thought. Sam had left to the workshop to design some hearing aids with guidance from the Heart, whatever that meant. 

_We can find the rulers of your kingdom, and perhaps they can help,_ Puffy wrote, excitement shining in her blue eyes. 

Tommy blinked. "My dad, you mean?"

_What?_

"My dad's the king of the Antarctic Empire," he muttered.

 _YOUR DAD IS THE KING?_ By the extent of all the caps, apparently Puffy hadn't realized that. Which made sense, as she had spent her entire life down in the City of Embers.

He nodded. "The other phoenixes will probably be there as well. And my soulmate."

_THERE ARE OTHER PHOENIXES??!??!! YOU HAVE A SOULMATE??!!?!?!?!_

Tommy sighed. "I have a lot to tell you..." he said, trailing off into his story. "It does not have a happy start, nor a happy ending, but I suppose you should know it all the same."

At Puffy's nod, Tommy launched into his tale.

* * *

"Poor kid," Puffy murmured, as she tucked Tommy into the makeshift bed. She traced a finger down his cheek, and he didn't move from the motions she made, even as she drew away. For some reason, he drew out the older-sister-mother part of her - especially since there was a part of her that felt as if he belonged in the City of Embers. Not as a phoenix - but in the state he was in, as a Guardian.

"Ms. Puffy," Ranboo said in a low whisper, as she closed the door behind him. "I'm so sorry - "

"It's okay," she said, throwing the half-Fallen a slight smile - for that was what he was.

Half-Fallen, half avarial. The only living product of a Fallen and an avarial, since Fallen were created, not born - Fallen children did not live past the first few months. Ranboo had his own issues; one of which lay in his memories. He found it hard to remember places and names and how to get to certain areas, and he dealt with albinism on the left side of his body; prone to sunburns - should he see the light of day - and his eyes, one red, and one green, were susceptible to light. One of them bore near-sightedness, and one far-sightedness. Sam had fixed this problem quite easily by making the boy, who seemed to be slightly older than Tommy, by creating a pair of dark glasses that balanced his vision.

Puffy had yet to ask what the two kids - _kids, that's all they were_ \- had suffered from at the hands of the Fallen. She knew enough to wait until they opened up to her.

 _Perhaps Tommy never would,_ she thought sadly. _And that's okay._

She wasn't his family. She wasn't Tubbo - the prince of the Dream SMP, the younger brother of Dream himself. She wasn't his soulmate, wasn't who he had spent months with. Wasn't someone who he had been born around, someone he had come to love.

In the tender state, she wasn't going to force herself to be. She wasn't going to tell him to forget about his father - _oh my gosh, he's a king_ \- his eldest brother - _blessed by the Blood God himself_ \- and his older brother - _the man with the silver tongue and an instrument of talents_ \- or any of the phoenixes that had taught Tommy what they had known of their past.

She wasn't his family, as much as she longed for a little brother. She wasn't anyone but herself.

She was a Guardian.

"Call me Puffy," she told Ranboo absentmindedly, as the boy drew in his opposite-colored wings closer around himself. "None of this _miss_ stuff. You make me feel old."

"He's scared of me," Ranboo murmured.

"Of course he is," she said tenderly. "You are half Fallen. And Fallen is something that Tommy will always be afraid of."

"He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you," Puffy corrected. "At least, not inside. He hates what you _could be_. He hates what the Fallen are. He hates the pain he holds within himself."

"But you and Sam and Antfrost and Velvet don't hold that against me," Ranboo said with wide eyes as they exited the housing corridors.

"The Guardians weren't tortured for nearly their entire life," she replied wryly. "We protect the city from attackers. In most cases, it is the Fallen. You are not attacking us, nor, according to the Heart, plan to."

"The Heart talked about me?" Ranboo asked incredulously - almost mesmerizingly.

"No," Puffy said. "But it did not talk about you at all, which is something. Whenever Fallen with ill intentions enters the city the Heart makes its presence known. Nothing is better than something, Ranboo."

Ranboo stopped in his tracks as they turned down one of the roads. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"The library," Puffy said with a sad smile. "Velvet and Antfrost are there. Remember?"

Ranboo frowned. "Perhaps. The red-haired one and the yellow-winged one?"

"Very good," Puffy praised, and Ranboo seemed to grow two inches at her approval, puffing out his chest and straightening the arch in his back. "Do you know the way? You went there before."

Ranboo saddened. "No," he said. "I do not. I know that - that I've been there _before_ , but the way it lost to me."

"That's fine," Puffy assured him. She hesitated before asking her next question, phrasing it first in her head before she spoke out loud. "Say, Ranboo," she began. "If I were to be away for a long time - say a week or two - would you forget me?"

Ranboo grimaced at the thought. "I don't think it works like that," he said. "I always remembered the Fallen that guarded - or kept me imprisoned - in the wing of the caves I stayed in. I remember my Ma, and my Da pretty easily. People are simple. Roads are hard. Paths...nearly impossible." He tilted his head at her. "Are you leaving, Miss Puffy?"

She neglected from correcting him of the honorific. "Perhaps for a bit," she allowed herself to say. "There are things Above that I must attend to before returning. The world is changing, and I fear the Fallen might overwhelm us, especially with the loss of you and Tommy."

Ranboo wilted. "This is my fault?"

"Of course not," she said. "It's the Fallen's fault. Their want for power and immortality drive them to do terrible things at the expense of others."

"You mean how they tore off Tommy's wings?" Ranboo said. 

Puffy winced. "Yes, I suppose so."

"They wanted the feathers," Ranboo said. "They wanted him gone. It was a win-win situation, the doctor said. They wanted to examine a phoenix's wings close up, when the fire had left and the phoenix that bore it was dead." His wings, one black and one white, crept around himself once more. "They wanted revenge for what Tommy's family had done to the Fallen."

Puffy swallowed. "And...what exactly did Tommy's family do to the Fallen?"

"Wiped them out," Ranboo said. "For a few months. Every one of them. Gone. In a battle led by the phoenixes, said to have bathed the world in fire and smoke and ash." His eyes had overtaken a faraway look.

 _Oh, no_ , Puffy said. She grabbed Ranboo's shoulder, and the boy jumped, though he did not lash out in the same fashion that Tommy did when taken by surprise. "Ranboo," she said calmly. "You are not a phoenix. You will never be a phoenix." The boy wilted once more. "And that is okay. I am not a phoenix. Sam is not a phoenix. Antfrost is not a phoenix. Velvet is not a phoenix. And that is okay."

"But I'm - "

"Half Fallen, I know," she said briskly. "But so long as you do not act like one of them, then in my books, you are very different beings. You will always have a home here, Ranboo," she added, almost in an afterthought. "Amongst the Guardians, you will always have a home."

"Really?" Ranboo asked.

"Really," she said firmly.

* * *

Sleeping, Tommy decided, was overrated.

Especially since his dreams were plagued with nightmares, the path that led him to the soulscape he'd shared with Tubbo - and surprisingly, the rest of his family - not available to him since the loss of his fire.

It had been blocked off, sometimes. When he was terrified, fearful, or scared. 

But it was just...gone. Gone like the wings upon his back, gone like the passing of time - gone like his journey home. He knew that Puffy and Sam had a plan to somehow get him back, but he didn't know how it was remotely possible when half the Guardians couldn't fly out of there without crashing and burning, their tech failing, when Puffy couldn't walk or move the lower half of her body without the help of the Heart, when Sam couldn't see, and his arm had only partial movement.

He ignored the half-Fallen that he would see crouching down other streets, clearly avoiding him.

He would cross that bridge when it came to it. 

For now, he did anything but sleep. Anything, because the nightmares were too much, and anything could creep upon him in the middle of the night - he trusted the Guardians, but there were only four of them and hundreds of the Fallen - and grab him and lead him down that path towards Death once more.

He wasn't sure if he would resist it this time.

Of course, when Velvet asked him that with narrowed eyes, his pen tapping on the journal nervously - who was Tommy, but to lie?

He was _fine_ , and he would be fine.

Puffy didn't believe his shit, but never wrote a word about it. She hovered anxiously, protectively, until he told her to shove off and go do more research on the idea that nobody would tell him about. Based on prior conversations, if he had to guess, he would have thought it was about the annual meeting between the kingdoms - all four of them; now three, as the Dream SMP and the Antarctic Empire had connected to form one. 

Sam worked tirelessly under the Heart in his forge to create something that would allow Tommy to hear, and he often sat near the heat, wondering if he was still fireproof.

The answer was no, because he had lost his phoenix abilities in that dark place that he had thought to be his end. He knew that because he had burned his pointer finger trying to figure it out, and then had had a therapy session with Antfrost, who had questioned him on his suicidal idealization deeply. Tommy had only answered half-truthfully.

He was wary of the boy named Ranboo, who was apparently half avarial and half-Fallen, the boy that had dragged him out of the caves and to the City of Embers. He was wary when he saw the boy on the rooftops, staring up at the fire-crystals that housed the magic of the city. He was wary, but not scared.

He learned that he did not hate Ranboo. Did not even dislike him. In fact, Tommy was grateful for the other boy.

Not that he would ever say that out loud.

On another one of his sleepless nights, he crept out the window and saw Ranboo - did that guy ever sleep? Maybe it was a Fallen thing, because they hadn't slept while torturing him - staring up at the twinkling fire crystals that somehow dimmed with the light of the sun Above. Little red quasars, they were like, and they made Tommy miss staring at the stars, feeling the cool wind in his feathers.

He settled down next to the half-Fallen, curling his hands around his knees. "See any constellations?" he asked amicably. 

Ranboo leaped up in a flurry of white and black feathers, staring at Tommy with wide eyes. His mouth moved, and Tommy squinted, trying to read lips. He was getting better at it.

"You - you - " Ranboo was saying, stuttering on the word.

"I can't hear you," Tommy said, lying back on his back and wincing at the stab of pain. He hadn't been able to do this before - lying on his back without crushing his feathers.

Well, at least there was one benefit to losing his wings.

Maybe he was in denial, or some shit.

Ranboo sat back down next to him, drawing out a notebook and a pen. Tommy frowned. "Do you just keep a notebook around?" he asked. Puffy and Sam certainly did, and Ant did sometimes - Velvet was often forgetful in his bookly mutterings.

Ranboo nodded.

"But I've never talked to you!" he said.

 _You are now,_ Ranboo wrote with shaky handwriting, as if he wasn't quite used to holding a pen.

Tommy sighed. "I suppose so," he muttered, blinking at the red lights. "Hey, do you suppose that looks like a bee?" he asked, pointing to a cluster of fire crystals.

 _No, it looks like a cluster of fire crystals,_ Ranboo wrote, somehow managing to convey sarcasm through a piece of paper.

Tommy rolled his eyes. "No, idiot, _look_ at it! It's a cluster of bees! I'm going to name the constellation Tubbee."

 _First of all, it looks more like an ape than a bee,_ Ranboo said, arching an eyebrow when Tommy smacked him in the arm. _Second of all, why that name?_

Tommy was quiet for a second, something rising in his throat. Debating, fighting himself - deliberating whether to tell the boy the truth.

_He was half Fallen._

_He saved you._

_He was half Fallen._

_He seemed nice._

Ranboo was patient whilst Tommy licked his lips and fought everything in him that screamed to rid the world of the Fallen. It wasn't Ranboo's fault he was half Fallen. He hadn't asked to be born like that.

Eventually, he raised up his arm - pale, skinnier than it should be - and showed Ranboo the flash of gold that adorned his wrist. "This is my soulmate."

 _A bee?_ Ranboo wrote skeptically.

He gaped. "What - no! This is the tattoo that signifies him! He's a phoenix, bitch!" Ranboo smirked at him, and Tommy realized he'd been teasing and relaxed.

_Phoenixes have soulmates?_

"Not all of us," he muttered, thinking of Skeppy and Bad. "Some do. Tubbo and I - that's his name - can communicate through our dreams."

Ranboo perked up. _Oh, so he knows you're alive, then!_

Tommy shook his head jerkily. "Lost my powers. I had a conversation with my family before the fire vanished, but the path - that path - is no longer available to me."

Ranboo looked over his shoulder, sitting up and nudging Tommy. He turned and saw Sam standing on the street below them, holding a small box made of dark metal. His mouth was opening and closing, and Ranboo responded in turn.

It made him miss hearing.

Part of him would rather hear again than fly.

He saw Sam beckon to him in the dim light, and Tommy dropped down off the edge of the roof. It was only one story tall, really, though he stumbled as he landed - the lack of wings made it an imbalance. Sam opened his mouth to argue with him, but Tommy crossed his arms and pointed soundlessly to his ears.

Or, rather, he assumed soundlessly. He thought he was pretty quiet.

Ranboo dropped next to him in a flurry of white and black feathers, and Tommy flinched away, trying - and failing - to play it off as a sidestep. Hurt flashed quickly through Ranboo's eyes, hidden under the glasses as he replaced them from where they'd rested on his forehead. Tommy cringed inwardly, glancing at the ground. He hadn't meant to do that.

Sam took the notebook from Ranboo. _Shouldn't you be sleeping?_ he chastised. 

"Shouldn't you?" Tommy retorted, and Ranboo smirked.

_I am an adult._

"Yeah, yeah, I'm basically an adult," he groused. "Nothing I haven't heard before. I was watching the stars."

 _There aren't -_ Sam paused in his writing as Ranboo said something. _Ah. Though I agree with Ranboo, that constellation looks more like an ape than a bee._

"You just have no sense of imagination," he sniffed. 

Sam rolled his eyes at Tommy. _Open the box._

"Will it kill me?" he asked, only half-joking.

_Open the box, kid._

"I'm not a kid," he muttered as he took the cool metal and tried not to cringe at the familiar feeling against his skin. He noted that someone had taken the liberty of making sure the small hinged box did not have any sharp corners. He wondered if that was on purpose or not.

Tommy took a breath and opened the box. Inside it, nestled among several fire-crystals, were two small bits of metal and some wire. The bits of metal were made of netherite as well, but there were tiny gems that Tommy got the feeling were actually fire-crystals. He looked up at Sam, who had a proud smirk on his face. "What are they?"

 _I'll show you,_ Sam wrote down, handing the journal back to Ranboo, who took it, curiously tilting his head at the box. He took one of the bits of metal out of the box and beckoned to Tommy. Curious, Tommy stepped towards the man, frowning when he reached up to brush the hair from the back of his ears and fiddle with it.

It was cold against his skull, and Tommy flinched at the first bit of contact, wariness still resonating through him. Sam stepped back, and the metal stayed there, right behind his ear, cold and useless.

He didn't understand.

Sam did the same thing with his other ear, a proud smirk on his face as he finished.

"I don't understand - " Tommy said lamely.

Sam tapped one of the crystals in the metal box, and he felt the fire flare to life in the crystals infused in the bits of metal behind his ear. They grew warm, the icy-cold gone, and then it was loud.

Very, very loud.

The scuffling of Ranboo's shoes against the stone were horrifyingly loud, and even Sam's breathing brushed against his ears as he let out a scream of surprise.

"WOAH!" Sam said, and why was he so _loud_?

"Shut up," he hissed, clamping a hand over his ears. That didn't help - not that he really expected it to. " _Shut up_."

Ranboo stilled, his breath hitching, and Sam froze.

Tommy felt a tear leak down his cheeks as he tried to block out the noises that were harsh in his ears. The simple rolling of a rock made him turn quickly to see if someone was standing there. His own footsteps made him cringe, and there was a pounding in his ears that made him want everything to go back to silence.

"It'll take a bit of getting used to," Sam said, and though he was whispering, Tommy slowly removed his hands from his ears and turned back to face the hopeful-looking green-feathered man.

"Thanks," he croaked out, his own voice sounding brash and loud and annoying in his ears.

"Does it work?" Sam breathed out.

He nodded once. Jerkily.

"YES!" Sam shouted, and Tommy stumbled back at the harsh noise, falling onto his back, a whiplash of pain ringing up his spine. "Oops. Sorry."

"Fine," Tommy muttered, as he twitched, glancing at Ranboo. He'd only been in silence for a few days, yet...it was as if he had forgotten noise itself.

But - but he could _hear_.

He could hear.

A broad grin appeared on his face, and Sam beamed back.

* * *

"This is a terrible idea," Ant grouched as she lifted the lightweight chair made of wood and metal below the tiny pinprick in the sky. Puffy raised an eyebrow at him as she tossed her pack into the chair.

"Relax," she said. "Sam will be with me the entire time."

"Are you sure that going to this yearly meeting is a good idea?" her Guardian friend asked nervously. "Sam is blind up there, and you can't walk."

"We'll be fine," she said. "It's time the world learned of the City of Embers now that we know that phoenixes exist." She spared a glance for the small journal, where Ranboo had sat down with Tommy and had him describe his family and friends so that Puffy could recognize them for who they were. "Besides, I suppose we need some help defeating the Fallen."

"Right," Ant muttered.

"Puffy?" Tommy asked.

She turned with a small smile towards the phoenix, who was picking at his fingers as he stared at her. "Yes, Tommy?"

"Can you tell Tubbo that I miss him?" he muttered. 

"Of course," Puffy beamed, achingly wish that she could take him beyond the reach of the Heart and back to his family.

Unfortunately, the methods that they'd used to save him had forced Ant to ingrain small bits of the magical fire-crystals into his body to maintain the blood flow and keep up his body heat. Should Tommy leave the boundaries any time soon, he would die from wounds that looked already healed. 

Not to mention that his hearing aids would fail.

"Of course, little duckling," she said.

"Stop calling me that," he muttered.

"Of course," she said again, and made a note to keep calling him that.

"Ah - you'll be back soon, right?" Ranboo piped up, from Tommy's side. She hadn't expected for the two to grow so close - Tommy, of course, still had his nightmares that she attempted to soothe with songs that he could actually hear, now, and was deathly terrified should Ranboo make the wrong movements. Still, he was trying, and that was what was important. 

"Only a few days," she said, waving to Sam as he walked towards her, tossing his own pack onto the wheelchair they planned to lug up for her to sit on. "Then we'll be back. Promise."

"Technoblade would say to not make stupid promises," Tommy said.

"Technoblade sounds like the type of person to tell children that they're going to die one day," Puffy pointed out. Tommy snorted, but didn't argue with it. 

Sam handed her a pair of dark glasses, and Puffy sniffed as she put them over her face. The sun would hurt her eyes, since she hadn't seen it in many, many years.

Despite having not seen the glow in a long time, she did not long for Above. She did not long to see other avarial, for fear of what they would think of her. 

Puffy did not long for the sky. She had what she needed in the City of Embers, and she had her friends. That was all she wanted, all she needed.

She was doing this for Tommy. Tommy, who would never fly again. Tommy, who jumped at the sight of a sword, and Tommy, who screamed for his father and brothers and soulmate in his sleep when he thought that nobody could hear him. Tommy, who could not hear without aid - Tommy, the seventeen-year-old whose scars ran far deeper than the surface.

She was doing this for him.

She grasped one side of the chair, and Sam the other. Ant stepped back into Velvet's arms.

 _Be safe,_ the red-haired man signed.

"Good luck," Tommy whispered, wistful longing entering his eyes as Sam and Puffy spread their wings.

"See you, little ducklings," she said, openly laughing at Tommy and Ranboo's mirrored expressions of distaste.

And then her golden wings flapped once, and Sam followed her lead - and they were off, flying up, up, up.

Away from the Heart. Away from her home. Away from her friends.

To the land of the Above.

She felt the Heart get further and further away as she gained height, seeing the four small figures grow farther and farther away as she flew up the gap that led to the surface, one hand firmly lifting the chair that she had to carry to Above.

For the first time in many years, Puffy lost the feeling in her legs. She felt them go - and it was like they had become useless all at once - it was like putting your hand on the table, middle finger folded, and trying to lift your ring finger.

Absolutely useless. 

She grit her teeth and turned to stare at Sam, whose goggles he'd left behind - why would he need them, in a place where he could not see anyway?

They burst into sunshine and forest, crashing to the forest floor in a wave of movement. Puffy gasped as she rolled, back smashing against a tree and the breath leaving her in a rush.

She lay there for a moment, staring at the sky.

The sky, which was blue and beautiful and filled with white puffs of clouds. The sky and the sun, which glared down at her - she dared not take off her glasses then, for even with them they burned her eyes to stare at. The green trees and the needles that lay below her on the forest floor - oh, how _bright_ the fauna was! How beautiful! Waves of colors and odd scents of the greenery flooded her senses, and Puffy took a deep breath as she lay basking in a feeling she hadn't felt in nearly two decades.

"Puffy?"

She glanced over to see Sam struggling to his feet, his eyes faded and unseeing as he glanced around for her. "Here," she said unsteadily, pushing herself up with her hands and glancing mournfully at her legs.

"You okay?"

"Only my pride was bashed," she admitted, dragging herself across the forest floor to right the tilted chair that was, luckily, undamaged. "We have to head west."

"I don't know what way that is," Sam admitted, his voice a bit higher-pitched than usual. "Puffy - it's odd not having my sight - "

"It's odd not being able to walk," she admitted softly as he walked close enough for her to grab his hand. He jumped slightly, looking off to his left, though not quite right at her. "Come. Let's get this over with so you can grouch about your eyes at a later time." 

Sam swallowed, still uncomfortable as he glanced around at every small sound. Puffy tilted her head at the small furry animal that paused in its nut gathering to stare at the pair. _Squirrel_ , she identified absentmindedly. 

Sam once again grasped the edge of the chair, and she forced herself to lean gains the tree.

"Three, two, one - "

Her wings propelled her into the air, her legs hanging uselessly as they soared in the sky - still, the wind itself brushed through her feathers, and a hidden joy was released that she'd never felt before. Slowly, she turned them to where the sun set, and Sam followed her lead, cautious - but trusting. Of her.

She shouted joyfully, seeing the forest, in all its greenery, fly by under her - making its way for fields and rivers and valleys and more forest. Sam did not see what she saw - he would never see what she saw. A bit of sadness washed through her at the thought, but it vanished as soon as she saw the beauty of the mountains rising far in the east - capped with a whiteness she knew to be snow, though she had never experienced it herself. 

Weather was not really a thing in the City of Embers.

She corrected Sam as he flew, when he began to tilt downwards or when he strayed too far to the left, and he thanked her every time.

He was her friend.

She would never let him fall.

She saw the pavilion on the top of a small hill near the beginnings of sunset, right as she'd finished explaining the streaks of pink and yellow and purple in the sky to a curious Sam.

And oh, the moon was so pretty!

They landed near the base of it, Puffy grabbing Sam before he could faceplant, and she collapsed to the ground, unable to land properly because of her legs. Scowling, Puffy dragged herself into the chair, glad that Sam's invention would be used once more as she cursed her birth and everything about it.

There were others around, she noted. Other avarial that were gathered in small groups, going up the pass to the pavilion. Avarial with guards and crowns and fancy clothes. She did not recognize them - she did not even flip open her journal to try. It wasn't important now.

She caught the glimpse of two phoenixes talking, one, a short man with black hair and a blue sweater, and the other, a green-eyed, brown-haired phoenix wearing red and black. They glanced at her - at her predicament, but ran past to the large pavilion.

It was really pretty, Puffy decided, as Sam put a hand - his only working one - on her chair and she put her hands on the wheels and pushed herself forward. The pavilion was mostly open-air and made of a pale white wood that shone in the setting sun. She could see unlit candles lining the columns around the center, and many chairs circling a small table. Though, Puffy soon stopped staring as she struggled up the hill, curses leaving her lips as she tried to roll the chair up and failed.

"Do you need help?"

Puffy looked over her shoulder to see a brown-haired woman in a blue dress standing there, her blue and white wings tucked neatly behind her. The hair framing her face was dyed a pale blonde as she smiled kindly at Puffy.

"Yeah," she sighed, and the woman grinned at Puffy as she grasped the handles at the back and pushed her up the chair. She was slightly irked that she had to be pushed up the hill - and certainly, it was drawing looks from the others - but Sam kept his pace dutifully beside her, and the woman didn't question it as she wheeled Puffy between two of the chairs.

"I'm Niki," the woman said, holding out a hand, which Puffy shook. "Of the Antarctic Empire."

"Puffy," she said. Niki frowned when she didn't add her kingdom, but turned to Sam, who had - somehow - found his way to the seat on her left.

"He's blind," she said, and Niki's eyebrows rose.

"Oh! I'm sorry," she apologized. "I have to get back with my friends, but it was nice to meet you Puffy and - "

"Sam," the Guardian said.

" - Sam," Niki finished with a smile. "I would like to be friends, if that's okay. Don't start any major disagreements with the Antarctic Empire and we're good." She winked at Puffy, who felt a grin tug at her lips as the pretty avarial walked away.

"Well, at least she didn't call us disabled," Sam muttered, as others began to stream in, filling in the seats around the room. Puffy didn't know how many there were - perhaps fifty, a bit more.

"Sam," she hissed, rolling her eyes and reaching over and pinching the skin on his forearm. He yelped and swatted at her, missing terribly, and Puffy adjusted the straps that kept her to the wheelchair, something she had neglected to do beforehand. "Not all avarial are like that. Tommy wasn't like that, and so his family isn't like that."

Sam muttered something distasteful under his breath that Puffy pretended she didn't hear as she stared at the avarial in the room.

In one corner, there was a short black-haired woman with a pink flower crown made of silver and gems sitting there, speaking to a red-winged, black-haired woman and a purple-masked crow avarial. A pretty brown-haired girl in a blue striped sweater sat at her left, and a short black-haired man to her right. He was staring at her curiously, and she narrowed her eyes at him and he looked away. 

In another corner, she saw a brown-haired man with a golden monocle talking to a tall black-haired avarial with a mustache and another short man with purple-grey feathers, sandy blonde hair, and a red sweater.

This many people was an odd feeling indeed. To see this many avarial in one place was an oddity in of itself - and for Puffy, who had lived her entire life belowground, the number of voices made her lightheaded slightly.

The third and fourth corner she recognized.

How could she not?

There was only one person that managed to look dangerous with rose-pink hair and a blood-red cape. There was only one person with a white mask and a smiley face. There were only ten people that had the wings of phoenixes - and they had become the interest in the room the moment they had walked in. Their leader, a woman - Puffy assumed - with brown hair and long nails that she envied, was giving anyone who stared too long death stares, though she frowned curiously when she lay eyes on Puffy.

Guess there were no disabled avarial.

She recognized the tired boy with brown hair and a green tunic. She looked closer at Tommy's family and saw the circles under his eyes that had come from losing him.

She would tell them differently.

When the sun hit the horizon, one of the phoenixes closed his eyes and the candles sprung to life, drawing some cries of surprise from the other kingdoms. Puffy narrowed her eyes and leaned forward curiously, interested on how this would begin.

It was Tommy's father that spoke first - the man with blue eyes and blonde hair and dark purple feathers and that kingly crown upon his head.

"Usually we come to talk about trade, but I think there are more important manners at hand," Philza said, clenching his fist. To his right, his son, Wilbur, scowled. Niki, who was on Wilbur's right, lay a hand on his forearm and he ceased his glare. "The Fallen."

"I thought we would talk about the phoenixes," the short black-haired woman in the pink said.

"That's part of the same conversation, Queen Lily," the smiley-masked man said, leaning forward. "This is Finn," he said, pointing to the long-haired phoenix, who raised her - his? Their? - chin at the attention. "He is the leader of the phoenixes."

"Whom we thought extinct," the man next to Lily pointed out.

"Yes, Michael," _Finn_ sighed. "We remained hidden in a volcano until we were led out." Puffy tilted her head - Tommy had told her that much about his past; that he had directed the phoenixes out of the volcano and to defeat the Fallen in battle. "The Antarctic Empire's capitol has been attacked twice - twice in an all-out war, and I do not think we can afford a third time. They will sweep through us to get to all of you, and while I would be interested to argue about the politics of trade, I think this is more important."

"Indeed," the brown-haired man in the ugly suit that sat across from Puffy said, leaning forward and adjusting his monocle. "I apologize for not being able to send aid. Being the farthest away can do that to a kingdom."

"It is not your fault, Mayor Scar," Phil said, dipping his head in acknowledgment. "We last spotted the Fallen three weeks ago, when they attacked our capital and sook to kill every last man, woman, and child within its boundaries. We defeated them, and they retreated, though not before making off with my youngest son, who is also a member of the phoenixes." Puffy saw Tubbo wince, scrubbing at his eyes, and was reminded at precisely how young Tommy's soulmate was. "We...do not know if he remains alive or not."

The pavilion was silent.

"Have there been any sightings of the Fallen since then?" the one named Technoblade demanded, and Puffy winced slightly at the bloodlust that lay under his voice. "In any of your kingdoms?"

One by one, the members of the other nations - Hermitcraftia and the Comfy Kingdom - shook their heads.

Puffy licked her lips when Sam nudged her.

Time to speak up.

"We have," she said loudly.

Technoblade whipped his head around to look at her. "What nation do you come from?" he asked.

"None," she said. "I hail from the City of Embers." Finn's eyes widened minusculey, a bit of hope in his eyes.

"Never heard of that," Wilbur muttered.

"You wouldn't," she said. "It's the ancestral home of the phoenixes."

Finn leaped to his feet. " _What?"_

"I'm a Guardian," she said. "One of four. We guard the City of Embers from the Fallen. They try to attack it every few weeks." She jutted a finger at Sam to her left. "I'm Puffy, by the way. This is Sam, a fellow guardian."

"You...guard the ancestral home of the phoenixes?" another phoenix asks. She takes a moment to look at him and flips open her journal, identifying him as Spifey, the one that had taught Tommy to fly.

"Indeed," she answered.

"But - " Spifey started.

"I can't walk?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "True. My spinal cord was cut in an accident. This is Sam. He's blind and has the use of only one arm. We have two more - one named Ant, whose wings were wrecked, and a fourth named Velvet, who is mute and has a sickness that makes his body weak." She spreads her arms. "Together, we guard the city from the army of the Fallen."

"How?" Finn asked.

"Magic, my dear phoenix," she said. "Magic that allows me to walk and Sam to see when we should never be able to."

"That's not possible," the one named Michael muttered.

"It shouldn't be," she said with a shrug. "And yet... it is."

"My son - " Philza started.

"I know," she said, cutting across him. "Tommy sends his regards, by the way." A wicked grin crossed her face. "He apologizes for not being able to attend this meeting." Her eyes met that of Tubbo, whose face was white and mouth open, hope in his brown eyes. 

The pavilion _exploded_ into chaos, and Puffy sat back and basked in the noise and hubbub she had created. So many people were shouting that she could not discern one voice from another - and yet, her eyes met that of the boy whom Tommy had eagerly described as his soulmate.

Thankfulness and relief dripped from his eyes, as well as tears as he leaned back in relief, breathing easier for what seemed to be the first time in years.

"Hello, Tubbo," she murmured, and though he should not have been able to hear her, his eyes met hers. "May you rise again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a trilogy, after all.


End file.
